A Magical Education, Part II: The Link Between Singing and Literacy by Susan A. Haid, Author-Producer Lily’s Truth
08 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: arts for education, building communication skills in kids, building creative thinking and problem-solving skills in children, building creativity in children, building self-esteem in kids, early childhood education, education, effects of testing on children, empowering kids, evolving education, inspiring children, making learning fun, music and learning, music and literacy, singing and literacy, supporting the learning process, teaching literacy, teaching literacy through music, testing in public schools, whole-brain learning
by Susan A. Haid
For many kids, learning to read is an arduous process. Of course, there are developmental landmarks that must be reached before literacy skills can reach their full potential. Unfortunately, standardized testing in today’s public schools require that children learn to read at the same time, at the same pace, in the same way, like cookies punched from cookie-cutters. This leaves little room for a child’s natural rate of development to unfold. This natural rate of development is replaced with pressure to learn before the brain is ready.
When reading skills come easily and naturally to a child, the child feels intelligent and confident about their ability to learn. Frankly, it should be no surprise that children who learn to read at a slower rate, a rate deemed ‘less than proficient’ by standardized testing, feel ‘stupid’. Their confidence in their ability to learn is damaged very early on. Moreover, their self-esteem and self-confidence is broken as well.
It has been my experience that slow readers are told to read, read, read. Practice makes perfect. Of course, what is a parent and a child to do? This seems like an obvious solution. However, when a child is placed in a pressure cooker and forced to learn at a rate that is not equivalent to their developmental level, then we have created bigger problems that overshadow mere literacy skills.
It is time that we change how we are teaching our children to read. Instead of teaching in a manner that suits the teacher, a manner that gives the appearance of ease and expedience, a manner that is as old as time, we should be facilitating the learning process in ways that are gentle, enjoyable and elegant for the child.
There is a way, you see, a way that is older than time itself: singing.
Why singing? To start with, when we sing, the whole brain is involved. Science is beginning to understand the benefits of whole-brain learning; whole-brain learning, or connecting both hemispheres of the brain during the learning process, is highly desirable and extremely beneficial. Singing accomplishes this along with enhancing fluency and building comprehension of language structure.
Pretty good. And fun too.
As we cut back on funding for arts in the schools, we need to rethink this decision. I believe the answer here is to merge arts with education directly, blending the arts with the learning process right in the classroom. Learning will be much more fun for everyone, much more whole-brain, and much, much more joyful and memorable.
I have used this gentle method with my own children. We still read books, of course, every day. But when my kids sing along with sheet music and a companion CD, they sing for hours….on and off all day long. They read and sing their lyrics over and over and over. This kind of repetition I could not achieve with a book alone.
They are learning to read without barriers and pressure. They are learning to read in a joyful and magical way. My house is filled with the sweetness of music and young voices all day long.
By the way, my kids are gaining an education in music too.
The biggest suggestion I might offer if you are going to try this with your own children is this: use beautiful music. Use beautiful music….kids respond to it, well, beautifully. Between fabulous Andrew Lloyd Webber compositions and lively broadway show tunes, there is a wealth of grand music to choose from.
Before you know it, your kids will be singing, singing, singing! And oh gosh, they’ll be learning to read too.
For more tools to empower your children, visit www.lilystruth.com.
A Magical Education: Part I by Susan Haid, Author-Producer, Lily’s Truth
06 Jul 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: arts for education, building communication skills in kids, building creative thinking and problem-solving skills in children, building creativity in children, building self-esteem in kids, early childhood education, education, effects of testing on children, empowering kids, inspiring children, making learning fun, supporting the learning process, teaching literacy, teaching literacy through drama, teaching math through art, testing in public schools, whole-brain learning
by Susan Haid
As the pressure on public school teachers increases to raise student test scores, and the boom lowers on our kids to perform on standardized testing, as funds drain away and classroom sizes swell, what is the educational experience becoming? More importantly, how much of this knowledge is being retained by our kids? I believe current statistics report that after three years, students retain approximately 20-30 percent of the knowledge imparted in the classroom.
Humph.
As importantly, a question to be asked is this, are our children enjoying school? Or has it become simply ‘nose to the grindstone’ for everyone? I have asked myself this question many times over as I have packed my kids off to school.
Kids, quite naturally, learn through pretend play, imaginative play and physical activity. So why are we asking them to sit at a desk for hours on end, pushing a pencil, with little application of their creative abilities? This just seems counterintuitive to me.
As a personal experiment, this summer I have spent many hours educating my kids in unconventional ways. By the way, I have three children who are ages 5, 9 and 12 years old. We have engaged in theatre games, short plays, art-based mathematics projects, broadway show tunes, monologues, pantomime and story-telling among other things. My goal has been to enhance literacy skills, build complex math concepts and facilitate the emergence of the unique giftedness within my kids.
We have converted my living room and dining room into a playhouse replete with stage curtains and spotlights. We have ‘played’ for hours on end. To my surprise and delight, my kids have begged for more. Most of all, I have had the deeply touching experience of watching my children learn in a magical and playful way that has opened their hearts. My kids are becoming far more expressive, creative, communicative and confident.
Wow.
These are important life skills to cultivate in every child. With a little face paint and some props from our local thrift store, we have made magic in our living room. Funny thing is, my kids remember every detail of what they have learned because they were involved on all levels in their learning experience. Even better, they have had a blast. Best of all, so have I.
The arts are for everyone, not just elite actors or creative types. My boys are extremely athletic, but they have loved every minute of this “school”. Methinks it’s time to revamp education. Learning can and should be a joyful, memorable experience. Yes, yes, I know that funding of schools depends on test scores. But frankly, I refuse to pressure my kids. I will not have their natural creativity, self-esteem and self-expression thwarted….you see, kids DO define themselves by test scores. This is the greatest tragedy of all.
My kids are learning about who they really are. They are finding tremendous joy in learning, even though most of the time, they are not even aware that they are learning. For them, they’re just having fun.
So, I’ll keep you posted on the growth I witness in my own kids as we continue to play in our home theatre, so-to-speak. We’ll be inviting friends and neighbors to join us soon as everyone wants to get in on the fun.
My kids, in a very short period of time, have bloomed into life. I have found them singing in the shower, trying on different personalities, and experimenting with comedy and improvisation. So where is all this leading?
Well, creativity is something everyone has and it applies to every endeavor in life. As the world falls apart around us, this just may be the most valuable and important attribute my kids leave home with in the years to come. At the very least, we have made memories to last a lifetime.
For more information and tools for empowering yourself and your kids, visit www.lilystruth.com.
Lily’s Truth, Books and DVD’s for Empowering Your Children by Susan A. Haid
23 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: building confidence in your child, conscious parenting, empowering your child, empowering your teen, Lily's Truth, new ideas in parenting, Parenting, parenting books, parenting DVD, peaceful parenting, raising happy kids, Spiritual Parenting, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching children about responsibility, teaching children about trust, tools for kids, tools for parents, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Children today live in a complex, rapidly changing and often confusing world. Helping kids find clarity, direction and confidence in themselves is a challenging responsibility for parents, caregivers and teachers alike. To help support a young person’s growing sense of empowerment, Lily’s Truth, a book and a DVD, has been developed to make parenting an easier road to travel. The primary concepts addressed in the book and DVD are:
1. Self-knowledge
2. Trust
3. Individuality
4. Standards
5. Communication
6. Rights
7. Faith in Self
8. Beliefs
9. Passion
10. Commitment
11. Forgiveness
12. Courage
13. Appreciation
14. Acceptance
15. Love
16. Peace
17. God Within
The course is available as a DVD/CD multimedia package or as a book. The artful and beautiful 2- hour DVD production comes complete with music, illustrations, narration, printable contemplation cards and a printable coloring book.
For more exciting and supportive information, visit www.lilystruth.com.
Introducing Smokin’ Hot Mama, the New Release by Susan A. Haid
08 Feb 2010 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: advice for midlifers, advice for mothers, aging tips, books, comedy, fabulous at forty, Family, family and spirituality, family life, happy families, happy marriage, humor, humorous stories, inner peace, joyful parenting, libertaed people, life, Life at 40, life with kids, Lily's Truth, living joyfully, love, midlife, motherhood, motherhood stories, Parenting, parenting tips, passionate living, raising kids, self-acceptance, sex at midlife, sexy at midlife, sexy moms, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, www.lilystruth.com
Excerpt from the new book Smokin’ Hot Mama by Susan A. Haid:
…….In my past life, I had a perfect body, a gorgeous face and lots of attention from men (not to mention a whole boatload of repression). Today, what really tickles my fancy is that it is no longer the men who tell me that I’m sexy, it’s the women. I have had many women blurt out that they think I’m sexy, and I can assure you that there is nothing about me that meets our cultural standard of “sexy.” I am full-figured, fine-lined, stretch-marked, saggy, baggy and perfectly, ecstatically, deliriously happy. I have thrown my head back and laughed out loud more than once when told by a woman that I am sexy. However, what these women are sensing is an inner sexy that has nothing to do with superficial appearances. I am wearing the look of genuine warmth, joy, peace and acceptance, and these attributes are monumentally magnetic in a world weary of surface appearances, masks and games. In telling my story, I am telling the story of liberation, acceptance, true happiness and lasting beauty that never ages, needs Botox or loses sex appeal. At midlife, I am one Smokin’ Hot Mama……
Smokin’ Hot Mama is a light-hearted, fun, funny little book that invites the reader to step boldly (and nakedly) into complete liberation and full acceptance of oneself. Take a ride with Smokin’ Hot Mama as she throws convention to the wind, laughs brazenly at herself and at life in general. Written with hilarity and poignancy, this is a book you will read over and over again. It will warm your heart and lift your spirit. Quite possibly, you will never look at yourself the same way again. After turning the final page, you might be hopelessly inclined to fall in love with yourself. For more exciting details, visit http://www.lilystruth.com.
How to Empower Your Children by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
14 Jan 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: building core values in children, Children, conscious parenting, core values, empowering kids, empowering parents, Family, family values, guide for parents, kids and values, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, parenting support, raising children, raising kids, raising strong kids, Spiritual Parenting, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, values, www.lilystuth.com
Lily's Truth
by Susan A. Haid
So you want to be happy? You should be happy. You truly deserve to be happy. In fact, you should be more than content. You should be more than modestly gratified. You should be and can be living an intoxicatingly, ecstatic existence. In this world of tremendous challenge and confusion, you can be deliriously happy. You can find your passionate life. You, yes, you can find yourself swimming in a glorious, clear limpid pool of unlimited fulfillment. And what’s best of all, when you learn to do it, your kids will learn to do it, and so on and so on.
But before you dive in to that indulgent pool of supreme rapture, there are a few fundamental concepts to contemplate. I am going to get you started with the first basic lesson I have to offer. I will be brief and to the point, but the work, the real work, is then up to you. You see, you may not understand where I am leading you just yet, but you are going on a journey. Pack very lightly. All you need is some time and a Kleenex or two. Let’s be on our way…
Now, don’t be put off by my first question. I can assure you that after many years of experience, most people don’t know the authentic answer to this question; do you know who you are? Do you really know what YOU think, what YOU believe, and most tellingly, what YOU feel?
You see, you may think you do, and perhaps you do. If so, you have accomplished an amazing feat in a world that constantly tells us who we should be, how we should look, how we should act and what we should be doing. The pressure to live up to this artificial standard is aimed point blank at our hearts. The bullets are delivered through a constant bombardment of external, unrealistic, unloving messages that shoot mercilessly and painfully from all directions at once.
What ultimately happens, then, is that we lose touch with our most basic truth: ourselves.
So ask yourself these simple questions as a contemplative exercise, “Who am I? What do I think? What do I believe? What do I feel?” As you do this, take a look at who you are expected to be by others. What is the identity you have created for yourself that serves the needs, beliefs and ideas of others? As you are delving within yourself, don’t be ashamed of what you might find. You may laugh. You may cry. You may see that you have denied, covered-up, or buried the beautiful, original creature you truly are. You have done it in love and service to others. And this is an honorable thing.
But the idea of self-sacrifice is an old and outdated one. Now is the time to throw convention to the wind. Now is the time to let go of all the beliefs you have about yourself and your world. Now is the time to rise and shine. And, there is only one path to follow; you must liberate the truth within yourself. It will require strength. It will require courage. Above all, it will require self-knowledge. It will catalyze the birth of your rightful self. It is the single most empowering act you will ever accomplish. There is no more denying you, the REAL you. And as you are like a phoenix rising, remember also that this is the greatest gift you will ever give to yourself, your children and the world.
For more exciting information about conscious living and conscious parenting, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.
One Big Tip for Surviving the Days Ahead by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
09 Feb 2009 1 Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: conscious living, consciousness transformation, hope, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, spiritual living, Spirituality, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Failure. Stress. Chaos. Confusion. Doubt. These are words that describe life for most of us today. The changes that lie ahead for all of us demand tremendous courage. We are amidst a struggle that never seems to end. Chaos has become a regular part of our existence. We want to know how it will all end. We want to run away to a desert island, away from it all. We want to hear the waves lap upon the shore, feel the breeze on our skin, and spend a few days or weeks with nothing to do or nothing to think about. We simply want it all to go away. Moreover, we wish we could run away from it all.
So, hop aboard your little boat and head out to sea. Your little tin boat has a tiny outboard motor. You are alone and your resources are simple by choice. You are going to a desert island far out in the middle of the ocean. As you pull your little tin boat up onto the sandy beach, you look up at the tropical forest that lines the beach. You can hear the birds singing. Off somewhere in the forest you think you hear the beating of drums, and you cut into the forest to follow the sound. As you work your way deeper and deeper into the forest, there is no path to follow. You push through hanging vines, step over fallen trees, wipe the sweat from your brow, and forage your own trail. You don’t really know what lies ahead, but you push forward. You are hot, tired and hungry. The forest canopy is thick but the blue sky is hanging in the backdrop as you look overhead. There does not appear to be any end in sight. You, quite literally, cannot see the forest through the trees. You find yourself deep in the middle of nowhere. There is no path to follow and no indication of which way to go. You call out but there is no answer. You cry out to God but there is no answer. There is no way out. You are lost. You are alone.
After awhile, you notice that a little bird is singing over your shoulder. So, you wipe the tears from your eyes and you sit and listen to the little bird. For a minute, you forget that you are alone, and you feel just the tiniest bit of happiness. You stand up and brush yourself off. You look down at your palms which are dirty and empty. You look around and you decide to choose the direction that follows a small creek. You walk for a very long time along this little creek. By now, your feet are blistered and sore. You take off your shoes and soak your feet in the cool stream. You wash your dirty hands. This small act is refreshing, almost healing. You wash your face and let the cool water drip down over your shoulders and arms. And, you give thanks for the little stream that has eased your journey. You lie in the stream pondering what you are going to do. You are still lost. You are still alone. And you just don’t know what to do. You think about following your markings back to where you started. This is an option. You could go back. You could go back to your little boat and go home. And so you decide that this is safer. This ending has a guarantee. The guarantee is your little tin boat that awaits you on the beach. You follow your cuttings and markings all the way back to your boat. It was just that while you were lost in the forest, you forgot that you could always go back.
Once you are back in your little boat, on your way back home, you both laugh and cry because you gave yourself quite a scare. You convinced yourself that you were lost and alone.
Now you are back at home once again. You gaze out over the ocean wistfully remembering your adventure. But you are happy to leave it behind. You want to fall into the comfort and security of home. You want to be free from the stress and worry of fighting for survival. What you want is to live a life of comfort, freedom, peace and security.
There’s nothing like an exciting adventure if we know that when the journey is over we can return to the comfort and safety of home. The adventures we take remind us that we are alive…that we are living and breathing through a very exciting time. We do it because we are adventurers. We love the adventure and the excitement. But more than anything, we love the discovery.
Once we have had our respite from the long and harrowing journey, not too much time passes before we are planning our next adventure. We can’t help ourselves. The adventures are fun, and deep inside we know there is more. We get so caught up in our adventures that we completely forget who we are or where we come from. The adventures seem so real that we forget that we can get out any time we want. We also forget that we can remain in the adventure with detachment, not getting so deeply immersed in the experience that we get lost in it, so lost in our forgetting that we can’t get out.
When this happens, pull yourself back into your life as an observer almost like a tourist on an adventure in an unknown land. Can you live your life with some detachment? Can you look at your life as an adventure? It’s OK not to get so serious about your life that you don’t get lost in it and lost in despair. This gives you a little bit of a buffer between yourself and the life you are experiencing.
This is not insulating yourself from your life or denying your life. This is simply finding your presence within your life. This presence has nothing to do with your experience but everything to do with who you are as a grand being. You are you. You have experiences. But you are not your life experiences. Your experiences are experiences, and you are you.
Give yourself the gift of this sacred space that is beyond your life experience. You are here in this world on an adventure. At times, the adventure is frightening, challenging, and sorrowful. At other times, the adventure is exciting, joyful and fulfilling. The adventure has a beginning and an end, but you do not. You are eternal.
It is possible in this world of challenge and stress, during the crumbling of the world around us, to maintain our balance by remembering that we can rise above these experiences by not getting lost in them. We must remember who we are. We are here to experience the adventure but not to get lost in the adventure.
We are here to see what we will see and know what we will know. But if we get lost and we can’t see our way out, it is because we have let ourselves believe that it is possible to get lost in the first place. Remember you are here for the journey but you are not the journey.
When we find ourselves getting so heavy with life, and it seems too hard, too painful, and so tough that we just can’t go on anymore, that is the time when we need to step back from life. That is when we have taken it all too seriously, so seriously that we have gotten lost and can’t find our way out.
Oh, but then again, we can find our way out. This is the time when we remind ourselves that we are taking a step back, a good, healthy step back, way, way back. We are pulling back so that we can rebalance, get clear and take a breather. From this new vantage point, we can let things be for a while. We can take a minute and remember who we are. Then when we are ready, we can take that bold step forward into life once again, this time refreshed and renewed. We can begin again.
We still may not know the answers, and we may not know where we’re headed. But when we’re refreshed and renewed, the answers and the direction unfold naturally and easily. We make life too hard. We struggle way too much. We stress, we fret, we fear, we dread. It’s only natural. It’s only human. Just remember not to get lost, and you’ll be OK. We all will.
Once you’ve been able to take that step back and you have separated yourself from your experience, you realize that you can go on, that you do have it in you. You have reconnected with the part of you that is unlimited, you see. You might even find that you want to go on and that you have something to live for.
After all, what is yet to come is an exciting prospect. The future just may hold something we don’t want to give up on or miss out on. We might even find some important answers or revolutionary discoveries along the way. What are they? Well, we’ll all have to wait and see.
For more helpful information about living peacefully and joyfully, or for more details about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.
Building Core Values in Children; New Insights in Parenting by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
15 Feb 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: building confidence in children, children & individuality, conscious parenting, core values, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, Parenting, Spiritual Parenting, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, understanding children, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
There is a dilemma in parenting right now regarding the concept of “core values.” How does a parent build core values in a child? Let’s begin by talking about the innate and natural abilites that exist within a child by making the assumption that there is, in most people, the ability to self-regulate. We must understand this self-regulation mechanism and understand its value in parenting.
To begin with, let me present a metaphor. When a person stands up, there is something called “equilibrium” that takes place. Balance is something that is acquired as one learns to stand up and walk as babies do; babies learn with practice how to build the skills needed to learn to walk about without trouble. Of course, assistance is necessary in the toddler years, but proficiency grows with each new step. After trial and error, and some will-power to grow, the changes occur within ourselves to become efficient walkers. There is nothing about the mechanisms of this but trial and error. It is the same with learning to grow spiritually and building core values within oneself. There is not a lot about it that requires great strength. It has a way of beginning and growing from within itself all on its own, yet most profoundly through experience.
Children are not seekers of great truth; it overwhelms them. A sadness occurs within each child, a sadness that remains when values are imposed which force upon them a highly restrictive right-wrong system of living…a system which may shut down and confuse their innate ability to make conscious, conscientious choices. Instead, maybe we should let children teach themselves in as many situations that reasonably allow for it. Within the perimeter of a safe setting, we can let our kids figure out which side of the fence they’re on. They can choose which is the “right” side or the “left” side. We should understand that each way brings with it its own choices and discoveries. Neither choice is the “right” way or the “wrong” way. Each choice is valid.
This type of learning is experiential. It has its merits. The question, “Which way is the right way?” should be replaced with, “Which way will I choose?” and “How will I decide?” This method supports the development of corrective mechanisms as well as creative opportunities for growth. The struggle may be there, yes, it will be. At least in the face of a struggle, there is an opportunity for growth and change. In the midst of struggle, a desire comes forth that commands our attention. We must be seen, heard and understood for who we are. This resonates clearly as we ring forth our truth like a great brass bell.
This method requires a parent to step outside of older models of parenting into new territory. But it seems to me that the knowledge and the skills a child builds through this exercise comes from within their own domain of experience. This is a very powerful form of learning that far outweighs the benefits of mere rhetoric.
Consider this parenting method in this light; have you ever questioned yourself? As you struggle to find your answer, finally, you let go, knowing you did what you thought was best. You let go. You then must ask yourself, are you “left” or “right”? Whatever the answer, it tells a story. It is a story of answers. The answers speak to you, and you self-regulate. Just like a baby learning to walk.
Sure, there might be a few bumps and bruises along the way. But the main thing is, you learned to walk. You now stand tall and proud.
For more insightful and supportive information on parenting and conscious living as well as information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.
How to Teach Your Children about Responsibility: 5 Tips for Kids Ages 5-12/ PART 1 by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
17 Feb 2009 1 Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Children, conscious parenting, core values, Family, family values, guide to parenting, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, Parenting, parenting tips, raising children, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching kids about responsibility, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
How long of a tether do you keep on your kids? The struggle for authority is an age-old dilemma. Who chooses? How much authority should we give our kids? Freedom is something we all need, yet how do we structure our lives so that we get what we need and our children have the appropriate setting in which to make their own choices, learn and grow?
As long as our kids are at home with us, there is a safety net beneath them. Certainly we want the most for our children. We want them to surpass our goals and achieve ones of their own. So we want them to grow. We want them to face challenges. As parents, where do we begin? How do we know what is appropriate, and how do we know exactly what our kids need to do to learn responsibility? This is a nagging question, and although there is no easy way through the parenting process, there are certain basic things we can do to help our kids become responsible adults.
Here are 5 basic strategies to help kids learn the basics:
1. Help kids develop knowledge of themselves and appreciation of their individuality. We must give our kids the freedom to choose which activities and interests they wish to explore. It is our job to facilitate their discovery of their individual and very personal interests by listening to who they are and what they tell us. This means we do not impose our interests and ideas upon them. After offering to them various different opportunities, we accept and support their choices without judgment.
2. Help kids take ownership of their choices. We need to look at every experience our kids have as an opportunity to cultivate self-understanding. This means that when our kids make choices for themselves, they learn to evaluate the consequences without judgment from us. This gives them time to figure out certain life lessons for themselves within the parameter of a safe setting. This is far more impactful that mere rhetoric from us. We are here to listen and offer support during this process. It is a tremendously valuable experience to let our kids make reasonable choices cradled within the opportunity to start over when things don’t turn out as anticipated.
3. Help kids learn how to manage their time. As parents, we help our kids to do this by setting forth our expectations of their responsibilities for the day (homework, athletic or music practice, chores etc.) and then allowing them to accomplish their duties independently, of course with a gentle reminder or two along the way. There should be reasonable consequences in place for failure to accomplish general expectations.
4. Help kids to accept their feelings without judgment. This starts with our ability to accept our own feelings without judgment. Our kids observe how we accept, experience and appropriately express our feelings. This gives them the standard for accepting and expressing their own feelings. Then, we must give our kids the space to appropriately feel their feelings without judgment. This gives our kids the beautiful knowledge about how to take responsibility for their own feelings when they are in a safe space to do so.
5. Help our kids to set their goals for the day, weeks or months ahead. We must set aside some time to listen to what our kids are hoping to experience in the days, week and months ahead. This gives us the opportunity to discuss what might be possible for our child to accomplish and experience with our help and support. This helps our kids learn how to take charge of their life by actively pursuing their developing interests by making them become a reality.
Setting forth strict and uncompassionate guidelines deprives our kids of their ultimate authority in the long run. Conversely, setting forth no guidelines whatsoever undermines the development of a child’s sense of authority and mastery over their life.
Let kids see the results of their own choices. Let them hear the impact of their own words. They must be able to experiment with the world before them.
Part 2 of this article coming soon! In the meantime, for more information about conscious parenting, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.
How to Teach Your Children about Responsibility: 5 Tips For Ages 5 -12/PART 2 by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
22 Feb 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Children, conscious parenting, core values, empowerment for kids, Family, family values, guide to parenting, helping kids, kids & responsibility, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, Parenting, parenting tips, raising children, supporting kids, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching kids about responsibility, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Every time I mandate that my three children, ages 3 to 10, help with the dishes, housecleaning, laundry, pets or some other mundane task, I prove to myself over and over again how important these experiences are for my children. Of course, their contribution makes my life easier. However, I clearly see that they are not only quite capable of accomplishing these tasks, they are learning to take responsibility for their own life in the process.
Here are five tips to teach kids how to take responsibility around the home and for their developing lives.
1. Help kids learn how to organize and manage their belongings. We need to require that our kids clean their rooms, make their beds, put their own laundry away, keep track of their homework and school projects, sports gear, musical instruments and so on. Once in a while, we can give them a hand, but kids should know that they are the ones ultimately responsible for these duties.
2. Help kids become active contributors to life at home. Every member of a home should contribute to the upkeep and management of the home. Age appropriate duties should be assigned to each family member, and once every week or two, the family should work together to accomplish these tasks. Duties such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, wiping down the countertops, raking leaves and even cooking are jobs kids of all ages can participate in. These duties give our kids the skills to become competent contributors as adults.
3. Help kids learn to set boundaries so they honor their own needs as well as respect the needs of others. This is a fundamental lesson parents need to teach their kids. It’s OK in many circumstances to say no. We want our kids to stay in touch with what they may need and give them the skills to meet those needs. We also want our kids to be aware that everyone has the right to set boundaries when they are appropriate and necessary. This is a basic life skill.
4. Help kids learn to be accepting of differences. Having nonjudgmental conversations about the differences we encounter in the viewpoints, lifestyle, beliefs and ideas of others is a basic tenet of building a philosophy of acceptance and compassion in our kids. These are great conversations to have because they ultimately help our kids get clear about who they are, what they think and what they believe. This also means that our kids should have a safe place to express their individual viewpoint even if it is different from our own.
5. Help kids accept the outcome of their choices and create new ones.
It is the ultimate empowerment experience when kids make their own choices and have their own resulting experiences. As parents, of course we need to be aware of what our kids are choosing so that we can intervene if it is necessary to do so. Although it is often difficult to give up control, we simply can’t make every decision for our kids. This deprives them of their experiences, the consequences of which are far less during childhood compared to adulthood. As often as it is reasonable to give our kids the authority to make choices for themselves, we should do so and understand we are respecting their individuality, honoring their learning process and building their knowledge of and confidence in themselves.
These are basic requirements that have worked well in my home so far. I respect the rights of my children to live freely and happily. As their mother, I want my kids to have the skills to manage their lives very well without me or without the help of anyone else if they choose. I want to help my children become empowered and sovereign. By giving them reasonable responsibilities and expectations, I hope to provide them with the simple knowledge about how to successfully manage their own lives after they leave home. And ultimately, I want them to soar!
For more helpful information about empowering children, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.
What is a Mother? by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
10 Mar 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: building compassion in children, compassionate parenting, conscious parenting, conscious relationships, core values, empowering children, empowering parents, family values, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, mother, motherhood, mothering, Parenting, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching compassion to children, values, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
What is a “Mother?” This is not just a word that describes a female parent. This is not one who is a servant. This is not one who exists to meet the needs and expectations of others. A “Mother” is one who holds the energy of Compassion. A “Mother” is there to nurture and to heal if that is what she wants to do. She is there to sing a song or to play a game, to sooth a bruise, or to make a heavy situation light.
She lets herself fly so that those around her might join her.
There are those who would keep her energy contained. With one ounce of freedom, she can light the skies on fire! With what, you might ask, a dish mop and a broom? I say to you again, she can light the skies on fire! She can change the world and others will follow. When she speaks, you must listen to what is in her heart. You say you have heard it all before. But her song, her note, must be played for you once again. You have only heard her speak to you in a whisper.
At night, when the moon is full, she will sing and she will dance, and she will set the night on fire.
The howls of the wolves speak the very same language as she. She will howl at night when the moon is full, not to be seen, but she will be heard and others will follow.
When will she do these things, this lighting of the skies, this howling at the moon? When will she be seen? Is she not brave enough to show herself to the world?
It is the light from within the darkness that touches the soul. She has chosen to come at exactly the right time and in exactly the right way.
And in her choosing, she will honor herself. She will cherish her own words. She will respect her faith in herself. She will set the night on fire, again and again.
It is because you have been sleeping that you have not seen her or heard her. She wishes you to soar along with her, but you will not let go.
If you heard her call, would you recognize it? It is like no other. You would know her by her sound, but you must possess a keen mind to understand her message. Is it wild, you ask? No, it is unlike any other call. Is it sorrowful, you ask? No, she will not embody sorrow. There is no other call like it. What is this sound, then, this sound that I have never heard, you ask?
It has magic surrounding it, this call. The unheard sound is profound. It speaks through a gesture or through a glance, in a wink or a smile. Compassion shows through so many things, like crystal reflecting a rainbow prism of light. She uses this tool as the answer. So insignificant you believe this to be. It is not profound. It is not what is needed. It cannot heal. It does not make change. It is sweet to say so, but there is so much more than this, or so you believe.
So you control and you fight and you fret and you wonder. How will the world survive? Where is the light? Where is the song, the answer, the truth? Who do we follow? What do we say? What will become of us? We are frightened. We are alone. And we don’t know what to do.
Within this struggle, you must eventually let go. You must succumb to what you feel, what you need, what you long for. It is there. It has been there for eons. She speaks but you will not listen to her. She knows you have been lost. She knows the answer to All. Her Call is inside you. Her Call will be there until there is no tomorrow.
She lights the night on fire, and yet you question, you doubt. It is there, but you fight it.
Can you let the magnificence begin? Can you allow yourself to be heard?
Hope.
Faith.
Love.
Compassion.
It is all We need and You are here. You are all that is needed.
It is time to transcend old ideas about “Mother.” “Mother” is not a servant. “Mother” is the Magi. “Mother” is the Healer. “Mother” carries the energy of the light within the darkness.
It is time to release Your Call in all its glory. You can trust Your Voice because Yours is the Voice that speaks with Compassion. Yours is the Voice of Change. Yours are the Words that Soothe. Yours are the Words that Heal. Yours are the Words that Enlighten. Yours are the Words that Empower. Yours are the Words that bring Light to the Darkness. This is Your Call…and others will follow.
She lets herself fly so that those around Her might join Her.
And at night, when the moon is full, She will Sing and She will Dance, and She will Set the Night on Fire.
For more helpful information about empowering families, parents and children, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.
Critical Factors for Raising an Empowered Child, Part 2: Teaching Children About Death by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth: a DVD for Empowering Parents and Kids
02 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: children and death, children and spirituality, compassion, compassionate parenting, conscious living, conscious parenting, conscious relationships, consciousness transformation, death, death with dignity, dying, dying with dignity, faith and children, faith and families, Family, family and spirituality, free-thinking, freedom, letting go, life, Lily's Truth, Parenting, peace, raising children, raising empowered children, Shaumbra, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching children about death, teaching children about faith, teaching children about life, teen spirituality, Unlimited Consciousness, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Teaching children about death depends of course on what you believe about death yourself. This article is based on my own personal experience with death and how I have handled the subject with my own children. These recommendations are for parents and caregivers who believe in the eternal nature of the soul. These recommendations are for those who want to change the old viewpoint of death replacing it with a new and enlightened understanding of what death really is. Ultimately, this is a gift to our children because they will have the opportunity to live, and die, peacefully without fear.
As the teachers of our children, death is something we must come to understand ourselves. It is critical that we move beyond the domain of “beliefs” into the realm of experience. We can teach our children what we believe or we can teach our children from the standpoint of our experience. There is no finer teacher than experience itself. All we ever really need is an open mind to receive pure, unadulterated knowledge.
Now, here we could get into a lengthy conversation about “consciousness” and how it is NOT confined by the human body. Consciousness can travel anywhere at any time and knows no limits. This can be experienced by anyone and everyone in a body or not in a body. So, what does this tell you about death? Maybe it implies that death is simply a change of focus so to speak. Now, some would say that the experience of consciousness is just product of the imagination. But for those of us who have played with journeys in consciousness, well, our experiences simply cannot be explained away. Our experiences go far beyond the realm of the imagination and are powerful lessons in the true nature of the soul. So, because of my own vast experience over the past 25 years, I smile at the limited and controlled point-of-view that leads some people to deny the unlimited nature of our being. And if you need your own proof, I encourage you to seek and you will find.
This brings us back to the very basic lessons we give our children about death. Based on this very brief conversation, this is what we can teach our kids:
Lesson Number 1: Death is not an end to life, it is a continuation of life. As all scientists know, energy never dies it simply changes form. We never die, we simply change form.
Lesson Number 2: We are not just human beings, we are Consciousness Beings. Consciousness is not confined to the human body. It can move anywhere at any time. Death is a release of Consciousness from the human body only. This is all death really is…much like taking off your heavy winter coat and walking from one room to another. And remember that Consciousness is Unlimited. There are many amazing implications to being an Unlimited Being. Children are not yet locked down within the trap of limited belief systems…let them live freely and openly with very simple information that supports the truth of their existence and life experience. There is just no need for oppressing, complex teachings.
Lesson Number 3: Our reality is defined by our beliefs. Let us give our children the greatest gift of all by releasing all fear teachings about judgment and condemnation associated with death. These are very old beliefs that are based upon control. In my humble opinion, it is a violation of the pureness of a child to impose fear, judgment and condemnation into the heart of a child. And how can any person die in peace with any dignity whatsoever when they are wracked with guilt, fear and shame? For many of us, COMPASSION is the single most important teaching we can engender in our children. When compassion is rooted firmly in the heart of any person, there is truly no need for teachings based upon fear, shame, guilt and control. I have three loving, kind and generous children. I speak from experience.
Death is a part of life. In our family, we have experienced the transition of those who were very, very old and those who where very, very young. Death is never an easy event to face. But death is something we can experience through new eyes in a new way. Death can be experienced with dignity, honor and sweet celebration of the life lived. What is never to be forgotten is that death in not a final goodbye, it is simply a change of residence.
For more exciting information about raising empowered children, Lily’s Truth, or Susan A. Haid, visit www.lilystruth.com. What’s Your Truth? Take the journey…
The ZEN of Parenting by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
06 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: conscious parenting, conscious relationships, empowering kids, empowering parents, empowering teens, families and spirituality, Family, intuitive parenting, Lily's Truth, New Energy Education, parenting support, raising children, Shaumbra, sovereign parenting, Spiritual Parenting, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching children to trust themselves, teen empowerment, www.lilystruth.com, Zen parenting
by Susan A. Haid
The world is full of spiritual ideals, and for this, I am grateful. There is nothing I love more than delving into the bigger picture of who we are and why we are here. Exploring consciousness is such a marvelous journey, but at the end of the day, I also embrace the most practical, applicable elements of my discoveries and new understandings. What I laugh about is how often I hear the same spiritual truths over and over again, yet each time I have a deeper appreciation of their eternal meaning. As I continue to grow and evolve, as we all do, I get a clearer and more beautiful picture of life and its inherent wisdom.
Applying wisdom to parenting is certainly experimental is some ways yet not entirely so. And you certainly don’t need to have years and years of parenting experience under your belt to parent with ease and with joy. You also don’t need to have years of spiritual seeking behind you to parent with wisdom. I have three children. As every parent knows, every day is a new adventure, a new experience and a new challenge. What I am learning to do is come to the parenting process with a clean canvas in every moment. I have learned with practice to get out of my head. The thinking mind has its own set of beliefs and its controls. This is fine to a point.
Now, I am not proposing unconscious parenting devoid of logic or reason. What I am proposing instead is very conscious parenting; this type of parenting requires us to let go of all our preconceived ideas and controls imposed by our thinking mind. When we sit in the space of inner stillness, the place of no judgment or control, we actually open the door to higher understanding. We give ourselves the room to perceive events from a place that is truly a superior form of intelligence…the type of expansive intelligence that might be called intuitive. We then use our thinking mind to apply this innate and pure wisdom to our life circumstances.
So many people believe that wisdom must be earned but I can tell you otherwise. Step outside of your thinking mind from time to time and give yourself the gift of “no thought.” Simply allow yourself to be in this place of seeming nothingness, which is actually a pool of unlimited potentials. Play with this exercise as you parent your children. As you develop your skill, you will have amazing insights into yourself, your children, and your family among other things. You just may discover that the answers you’re looking for are innate to you. You may be able to let go of all your controls and find out that there is another way to parent that is better for you as well as for your kids.
Yes, this takes some conscious effort, but the rewards are worth it. The answers may come when you least expect them. The most beautiful part of intuitive parenting is that the answers and solutions are unique to you and your family. This does not imply that you cannot draw solutions from all around you, but it does imply that you are the final authority. This is an empowered way to live and to parent. It is a new way to find creative solutions and solve problems.
Much like the artist who works upon a clean canvas with each new creation, you can step outside of the ideas of your thinking mind and work from a very pure place of higher understanding to create your life in the most beautiful, original and unconventional way.
Although it has been said before, your life is your art. Why work from a soiled canvas when there is a clean, new one waiting for you?
For more exciting information about conscious parenting and raising children in wonderful new ways, or for more information about Lily’s Truth and Susan Haid, visit http://www.lilystruth.com.
Teaching Children About Money by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
26 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: children and allowance, children and money, conscious parenting, empowering children with money, empowering parents, giving children an allowance, guide for parents, help for parents, helping children learn about money, helping kids, kids and allowance, kids and money, kids and responsibility, kids and values, Lily's DVD, Lily's Kids, Lily's Truth, Lily's Truth DVD, parenting guide, raising responsible children, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching children about money, teaching children discernment, teaching children how to earn money, teaching children patience, teaching children responsibility, teaching children values, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Parents often wonder if and when their children should learn the value of money whether it is through an allowance or otherwise. My children, like many children in today’s material society, started asking for every toy under the sun as soon as they could talk. Of course, I admit that initially I enjoyed giving my kids the toys they asked for, but I soon learned that this is a bottomless money pit with no easy way out.
So as soon as my kids were able to count, I started teaching them how to count pennies, nickels and dimes. When they had earned several coins that they could put in their own wallets, I allowed them to spend it as they wished, helping them to understand what they were able to buy with the very small amount of money they had in their possession. What was interesting to observe is that they started to develop discernment about what they would choose to purchase rather than simply wanting everything and expecting to get every toy on the market.
Another beautiful evolution that occurred, although this required some work on my part as well as theirs, is that they began to understand the value of saving their money so that they could have greater purchasing power. As my children got a little bit older (5-6 years old), they began to cultivate the patience needed to wait for a something they wanted while they slowly saved up for it. Immediate gratification was no longer part of their world. They needed to have the discipline and responsibility to earn money for the items they wanted to buy with the exception of the gifts they received on birthdays and holidays for the most part.
Money has been a tool of empowerment in our house. Money must be earned by the performance of chores and duties outside of the normal expected duties. Money must be saved by each one of us including the parents. After all, parents represent the standard for the children. My kids now understand why Mommy doesn’t drive a brand new car or why we can’t go out to dinner whenever we feel like it. My kids also don’t argue when I tell them they can’t have this or that when we are in a store buying necessities.
I want to instill in my children that they have the power to make money and buy the things they wish to have. I do not want to impose fear-based thinking or poverty consciousness. I simply want to teach my kids how to make money and how to use it wisely. My kids have learned discernment, patience and responsibility in the process. These tools, and that is all they are, will serve them well as they get older.
The next step in my children’s education about money has been about how to make money creatively and joyfully without necessarily having to toil away for it. But that discussion is for another time. Meanwhile, for more exciting books and DVD’s that empower parents and children, learn about Lily’s Truth by Susan A. Haid at http://www.lilystruth.com.
Words Are Magic! by Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast!
12 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: abundance and children, Amanda van der Gulik, children and money, choosing words carefully, clever dough kids, empowering children with money, helping children learn about money, kids and money, optimism, Parenting, parenting support, positive attitude, positive parenting, teaching children, teaching children about money, teaching children financial responsibility, teaching children responsibility
by Amanda van der Gulick
Juliet:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
A familiar quote by Shakespear.
If we had never known what a rose was but saw it for the very first time and were told that it was called a ‘skunk cabage’ (and had no idea what a ‘skunk’ was) then we would think the name ‘skunk cabage’ was a beautiful, romantic name simply because the flower itself was so sweet and pure.
But if we knew what a ‘skunk’ was then our beautiful rose would suddenly seem much less sweet!
Words are magic!
We must be very careful which words we choose to use in our daily lives.
Words can inspire and lift us to great heights, but they can also be our downfall, they can crumble us, make us cringe and hide in a corner full of cobwebs and broken dreams.
Which words do you choose to use?
“I can’t afford that.”
or
“How can I afford that?”
It seems of little importance how we speak about a subject, but therein lies the beast!
We don’t even realise we are doing it. We put ourselves down daily, we put our hopes and aspiritions down without a second thought.
Why?
We were taught to do it!
Our parents told us, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”
They were wrong! MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES!
It’s all about perception. Is your glass half full or half empty? It makes a difference.
Yes no matter how you say it that glass will still have one half with liquid and one with air, but how you see it will affect not the glass or the liquid within it but YOUR LIFE!
If you see it as half empty then you are missing so much!
You are closing yourself to life’s wonders and joys.
If you see it as half full then you are blessed. You will enjoy life.
But beware…
Negativity is so easy to enter your mind unexpectedly.
Make sure you see your own thoughts for what they are and make a point to correct yourself whenever you find yourself allowing a negative thought.
Never reprimand yourself for your negative thoughts, as that will only increase your negativity, instead, laught, giggle, and then kindly remind yourself of the possitive alternative.
Example:
“It’s raining outside, now my suit is going to get all wet and my day will be ruined!”
or
“Oh, silly me, who cares if my suit gets wet, it’ll dry and besides the rain really brings out my natural curls like no shampoo or conditioner ever could. This rain means, fresh grass and new flowers will be blooming. I’m going to have a fantastic day!!!”
It’s up to you.
Here’s to your success,
Cheers….Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast!
http://www.TeachingChildrenAboutMoney.com/
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Now that your own mind has been OPTIMISTICALLY revamped, it’s time to get your kids thinking POSITIVELY, click below:
http://www.cleverdoughkids.com/mindmoviefreebie.html
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For more information helpful information, books & DVD’s designed to empower adults, kids and teens, also visit www.lilystruth.com.
How to Raise a Happy Kid: Part 1 by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth, www.lilystruth.com
19 May 2009 2 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: children and nature, conscious living, conscious parenting, empowering kids, empowering parents, families, happy children, happy families, kids and happiness, kids and responsibility, Lily's Truth, motherhood, mothering, nature, Parenting, parenting tips, positive parenting, raising children, Shaumbra, sovereign children, stress and children, support for parents, supporting kids, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching children, teaching children responsibility, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
When all is said and done, as parents and caregivers, more than anything else we want our children to be happy. In providing for our child’s happiness, where does our responsibility begin and where does it end? As a mother of three active, inquisitive and involved children, I can tell you that my kids never stop asking for what they want. If I obliged every request, there would be no end to the fulfilment of their needs and desires. And in this puzzle, where do I fit in?
Being a happy Mom is also part of the formula, you see. My kids, like most other kids their age, are involved in sports, music, dance and more. They also have a very active social life with their friends. As you know, this requires a big commitment on my part to ensure that all of these activities happen on a regular basis.
So, on the days when we don’t have plans readily in place comes the inevitable question, “What are we doing today?” which is always followed by the expected yet incessant response, “I’m bored.”
In empowering my children, I realize that my kids must learn to take responsibility for managing their own happiness when they have time to themselves. Now, we all know what kids do when they’re bored. They fight with each other. It’s a game for them, it’s fun and it kills time. This also can push even the likes of Mother Theresa over the edge within a matter of seconds.
So what is a parent/caregiver to do? I have learned that a good measure of patience is required to get through the initial phase of boredom kids will experience. Then there is the consequent whining, pouting and demanding that will initially ensue. This is when I make a few firm, non-negotiable statements to my children that today they must entertain themselves. Ofcourse, the emotional manipulations continue for a good long while, but then my kids seem to figure something out.
I have watched my kids make choices to entertain themselves based on the resources they have at home. This is the birthplace of imaginative play and creative activities. This is when my kids walk out the door to play with rocks, sticks, dirt and grass. This is when they enter the magical and wondrous world of their imaginations. It’s getting beyond the initial resistance that is the hardest part. I have learned to stand my ground and not give in to the whining, complaining and demanding because something wonderful is about to happen.
Some of the most beautiful experiences I have had in teaching my kids to take responsibility for entertaining themselves has occurred while we have been outdoors. Out in the forest or by a stream, there is so much naturally available to keep a kid occupied without the crutch of a computer game, ipod or television. Once a child gets immersed in nature, hours will pass by without a peep. The next amazing thing that happens is that the child begins to relax and let go of the need to seek stimulation from other people or from technology. With every hour a child is submersed in the magical world of nature, the child innately returns to his or her own peaceful state of being. This is so healthy for our children.
Kids need down time. Kids need time to be alone with themselves. Some kids are better at being alone than others, but inevitably, time alone (preferably out in nature) is profoundly healing and balancing for each and every child. It is also deeply restful and nuturing for parents and caregivers.
Every now and then, make a point to walk away from life completely. Teach your kids how to do it to. Teach your kids also how to enjoy their own company. This may seem inconsequential, but you have just unwittingly instructed your children on how to manage their own happiness. This is simple, elegant and empowering. This will bring peace and balance to your family and your life. This will teach your children how to care for themselves and their tender inner spirits. Everyday life is stressful for everyone, but you can always choose to leave it all behind for a few hours at a time. This is a skill we teach our children by example.
Saying “no” to the constant demands to provide for a child’s happiness and “yes” to a child’s opportunity to fill their own time in a peaceful and nurturing setting is a great way to empower your child. Give your children the gift of themselves. Help them to become supremely comfortable in their own energy. You are supporting the development of their sovereignty in doing so, and this is a most beautiful and blessed unfolding that is a result of liberating the inner spirit.
For more information about empowering kids, teens and families, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com for more exciting details.
What Are You Looking Through? A Microscope or Telescope? by Amanda van der Gulik
19 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Amanda van der Gulik, awareness, children & money, choice, conscious parenting, kids and money, life, Parenting, seeing the big picture, vision, www.cleverdoughkids.com, www.TeachingChildrenAboutMoney.com
by Amanda van der Gulick
What kind of person are you?
Do you look at your life through a Microscope, knit-picking every little action or choice you make?
Or do you look at your life through a Telescope, looking out into the future at what your life will become, and ignoring all the side-winding paths along the way?
If you want to have a successful future, AND you actually want to get there then my suggestion to you is…
Look at your life through the Telescope!
You are at “point A” and you are looking through your telescope to “point B”, which is where you see yourself going.
If you are going to use the Microscope instead, then you would never even see “point B” never mind ever getting there!
You will be side-tracked by “point A1″, “point A2″, “point A3″…
And on, and on, and on…
Step back from your Microscope, throw it out!
Stick to your Telescope and you will still hit “point a1″, “point A2″, and the rest but you will have your FOCUS solidly on “POINT B”…
Which means….
You will reach it!
Here’s to your success,
Cheers…Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast!
http://www.TeachingChildrenAboutMoney.com
http://www.cleverdoughkids.com/mindmoviefreebie.html
I Want More…by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
29 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: abundance, awareness, change, choice, conscious living, consciousness transformation, coping with change, coping with confusion, coping with stress, creating reality, empowerment, freedom, fulfillment, future, happiness, having more, hope, Inspiration, joy, Lily's Truth, more, progress, responsibility, security, Self-Help, self-reliance, self-understanding, Shaumbra, sovereignty, spiritual knowledge, spiritual living, spiritual teaching, spiritual understanding, Spirituality, stress, surrender, tools for surviving change, truth, understanding, wanting more, www.lilystruth.com
By Susan A. Haid
The consant demands in today’s ever-changing world leave us reeling. Can we handle this stress? Yes, it is real and dynamic. We want to close ourselves off from reality and recompose ourselves. If it is true that life is self-regulating, then how do we find respite in a constantly shape-shifting world? We find ourselves saying that we can’t take it anymore, we want to let go, we want more than anything to be free. But how?
Can we trust that there is a larger design to life…something that we can’t comprehend? Is there more? Is it what we are looking for? Where will all of this change lead us? It is overwhelming.
So where do we go from here? Are we lost or are we simply moving to a higher level of existance? If we take a look at the geographical evolution of Planet Earth, large scale change is often a destructive process. As we all know, we can weather only so much destruction in our own lives before we break and shatter to pieces. How much more will there be for us to endure? The course of humanity is in a period of tremendous shifting in consciousness, and we are not over it yet.
I could give you the typical platitudes that everything is going well, that change is a good thing, that humanity will survive etc., etc. but I don’t really want to do that. A little whining and complaining sometimes is a good thing too. It relieves stress. And after all is said and done, we choose in what moment we want to live.
We can control the outcome, you see. We can see into the future if we want to. It’s all about choice. What we choose to do now in this moment will unfold into time. Whose life is this anyway? Choose. Are you willing to be abundant? Are you willing to be free? Can you allow yourself to give from your joy and your pleasure? Set your sights on a better tomorrow and energy will follow.
Allow yourself to flow through your experiences as the truth of your moment. But then the moment is gone, and you are here again finding your way in a new moment of time. This is how reality gets constructed. The answer is not “out there.” Reality is a work-in-progress, and we are the Creator Beings who make the choices that form reality. We are the Creator Beings who make the choices that form reality. We are the Creator Beings who make the choices that form reality.
So the question becomes, what do you want? We hold the handle on progress. We create change.
Where we stand right now in this moment in time is a product of our former choices.
So, now we know what we know. We can begin again with awareness and with consciousness. And with this knowledge, we can set the stage for what is to come. We don’t need to fight. We don’t need to worry.
Take care of the moment and the rest will take care of itself. You are in charge. Remember that You are the Creator here.
I am here to tell you these three things:
1) You are right where you should be.
2) If you want more, you are in charge.
3) Change comes from within yourself. You are the Creator.
You are the Creator.
What more could you ask for than this?
For more exciting and enlightening information visit http://www.lilystruth.com to learn about Lily’s Truth.
The Effective Parent by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
25 Jun 2009 1 Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: Children, commitment, compassionate parenting, conscious parenting, effective parenting, empowering children, families, family life, guide to parenting, happy families, happy kids, healthy kids, joyful parenting, Lily's Truth, love, loving parent, Parenting, parenting tips, parenting without control, raising children, raising happy kids, responsible children, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, teaching children, teaching children about trust, teaching children responsibility, teaching children to think for themselves, www.lilystruth.com
A Tool for Effective Parents & Empowered Kids
By Susan A. Haid
Here are Ten Principles of the Effective Parent:
1) Offer your children committed love. Let your children know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you love them and you will always love them no matter what. Make this a clear and consistent message.
2) Become the best educator of your children’s basic life skills that you can be. This is far more valuable than what you can ever buy them.
3) Teach your children to trust themselves more than anything else. Keep your children connected to their innate inner navigational equipment. Do not underestimate the power of self-trust; this is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give your child.
4) Give your children reasonable freedom to make choices for themselves. There is only one finer teacher than you are, and that is life experience itself.
5) Give your children the gift of time to themselves without tv or technology. This opens the doorway to imaginative play that cultivates a powerful, lasting form of creativity and resourcefulness that serves a child for a lifetime.
6) Make every effort to offer compassion to your child, even when discipline or consequences are required. Children are learning and therefore require explanations, education and understanding more than anything else. Make compassion your best friend.
7) Listen to what your children have to say, even if their words are contradictory. They have a lot to figure out in a very complex world. Listen and be present.
8) Give your children reasonable, basic responsibilities. Everyone in a household should contribute to the welfare of the family.
9) Enjoy your children for who they are. As parents, we have no other responsibility other than to honor and appreciate who our children already are.
10) Stop whatever you are doing and openly accept and receive your child’s love. Revel in it! Take the time to bask in it as often as possible. There is no greater gift you will ever receive. Let it heal you.
For helpful information about joyful, effective parenting and raising empowered children, visit www.lilystruth.com for more.
Healthy Relationships and Balanced Sexuality in Teens by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth, www.lilystruth.com
14 Sep 2009 5 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: building healthy relationships, building healthy sexual relationships, conscious children, conscious parenting, empowering kids, empowering teens, healthy sexuality in teens, Kids, kids and self-respect, kids and self-worth, Lily's Truth, lilystruth, lilystruth.com, Parenting, parenting guide, sex and teens, Spiritual Parenting, Susan A. Haid, teaching kids about sex, teaching kids to love themselves, teen sex, teen sexuality, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Contemporary culture, the media, and society-at-large is full of conflicting messages for our teenagers, frequently delivering an exploitative, degrading and superficial model of sex and sexuality. Now, more than at any other time in history, is when we need to support our kids in cultivating healthy relationships and balanced sexuality. We need to be having conversations, on an ongoing basis, that aren’t about sex necessarily, these important discussions are about standards, boundaries, self-respect and self-worth.
How do we begin these talks? Frankly, these conversations and messages to our children need to start when they are very young. Remember, the baseline conversation is not about sex, it is about self-respect and self-worth. This is also not a conversation about moral beliefs. Why? Because this is not about controlling or repressing our children’s nature desires, sexuality and self-expression. This is about supporting our children in making choices that are firmly rooted in self-worth. We must help our kids understand what sexual and sensual feelings are, help them understand that these feelings and desires are natural and beautiful, and help them understand how to express them in a healthy way that honors them and leads to balanced, joyful and respectful relationships.
The foundation we can give our kids, that will evolve into healthy choices during the teen years and beyond, can be built upon the following principles:
1) Teach kids to respect and honor themselves, their thoughts, their feelings, their beliefs. Remove all fear-based teachings completely. Teach kids to trust the authority within themselves rather than putting their power into an outside source. When we teach a child to make choices that constantly please others, that please God, or that gives their power away to another person, this confuses them and disconnects them from doing what is best for themselves. These traditional teachings prevent kids from making clear, conscious choices that honor their own being first.
2) Teach kids to take responsibility for their choices. Their locus of control should be placed where it belongs to be effective, which is within themselves. Kids must learn to make choices and trust themselves in this process. If they feel their life is controlled by an outside source alone, they will never take full responsibility for their choices and actions.
3) Teach kids to seek out relationships that are mutually honoring, compassionate and respectful. No games or manipulations allowed. Safe, supportive, respectful relationships are the rule at all times. If a child is in touch with their self-worth, this will happen naturally. As parents, it is mandatory that we teach this by example.
4) Teach kids to get comfortable in their empowerment and their sovereignty: teach them to let go of dishonoring relationships and seek out relationships of a higher order. Let kids know it is OK to terminate a relationship immediately that is dishonoring, disrespectful, unloving or unsafe.
5) Model these concepts yourself. Accept only loving, honoring relationships in your own life. Create a safe space in your own life, in your own home, that has its roots in mutual honor and respect. This is the rule to live by.
More than ever before, it is mandatory that we as parents guide our children and teens using a relationship model that goes beyond traditional rhetoric that attempts to control or repress developing sexuality in kids and teens. The truth is that these old modalities twist and damage our children’s sexual energy, leading to the development of dysfunctional sexual expression that kids carry throughout adulthood. These old methods, based in morality teachings or fear/control-based beliefs, simply don’t work, and they do more damage than good. The truth is that these old teachings result in extensive damage to a child’s developing sexuality.
The result is that the pendulum swings the other way; we then witness an eruption of dysfunctional, exploitative, and degrading sexual energies pervading our society. This twisting of energies is seen not only in sexual expression alone, it is seen as acts of violence, oppression, manipulation and degradation of every kind. This distortion has infected every institution and every governing body. It is time we connected the dots here and cleaned this up, starting with our own families. We are the only ones who can do it, you see.
It is time that we give our children new tools to live by, and we must choose them for ourselves first.
For more information about empowering your children, visit www.lilystruth.com for tools to help raise healthy, happy, successful kids. Lily’s Truth was designed as a tool to support parents in raising amazing children. Check it out!
The Extraordinary Child by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth, www.lilystruth.com
17 Sep 2009 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: all children are talented, conscious children, conscious living, conscious parenting, creative kids, cultivating creativity in children, empowering children, getting beyond grades and test scores, gifted children, helping children learn, Lily's Truth, new insights in parenting, raising happy kids, raising unlimited children, Spiritual Parenting, supporting creativity in children, supporting healthy self-esteem in children, Susan A. Haid, teaching kids to be exceptional, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
All children are extraordinary. The messages our children receive from the world around them affect their developing perception of themselves, often damaging their self-esteem very early on. If we want our children to grow up with a strong sense of self-worth, feeling free to apply their individual brand of talent without doubt or limitation, then we need do three simple things for our kids on an ongoing basis:
1) Make sure your child knows that every child is creatively gifted in some way. Exploration in all areas of life needs to be fully supported by parents but chosen as an area of personal interest and discovery by the child first. Kids must be encouraged to experiment with creativity not only in the traditional academic areas identified as areas of “giftedness” but in all areas: science, writing, art, music, invention, sports, music, dance or whatnot. The list of areas in which to encourage creativity and originality is endless. Creativity can be applied to any endeavor, and talent can be cultivated without limiting notions of what talent should look like to be considered valid.
2) Make sure kids know that grades and test scores do not define who they are or what their capability is. Grades and test scores indicate only a very small portion of who our kids really are. The message kids get from parents should be on the importance of being educated. Kids naturally use grades and test scores to evaulate their worth and ability, and this affects their self-image and self-esteem; Kids need to get the message that they are capable of far more than a grade or test can ever indicate. Children must also understand that grades, either good or bad, do not guarantee success or failure in life. The formula for success in life goes far, far beyond grade point averages. Children must be encouraged to appreciate their own talents and gifts, understanding their potential in life is always unlimited.
3) Provide creative opportunities to stimulate your child’s imagination. Ensure that kids have free time, without structure, pressure, discipline or other demands, to give them the opportunity to use their imaginations. Creativity and the imagination go hand-in-hand. Because we live, by and large, in a culture that places unduly heavy emphasis on the intellect alone, the imagination is not, as of yet, cultivated to its full potential. Without the use of the imagination, new ideas, discoveries, cures and other amazing potentials would not exist. As a wonderful aside, creative activities help kids (and adults) to feel happy, energized and purposeful.
Your child is extraordinary! For more exciting information about raising empowered, happy kids, visit www.lilystruth.com for additional tools to raise amazing children.
Boogie Nights by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
13 Oct 2009 1 Comment
in Uncategorized Tags: conscious parenting, coping with stress in children, dancing, dancing and parenting, fun activities for kids, happiness and children, how to have fun with your kids, joyful parenting, Kids, kids and dancing, Parenting, Shaumbra parents, teaching children how to cope with stress, teaching children to be creative, teaching kids to be happy
by Susan A. Haid
A few months ago, I purchased a multi-colored, rotating disco ball lamp for my kids. My intent was to have some fun from time to time dancing with my kids. What has surprised me is this: the addition of this tacky, retro-style lamp to my family room decor has turned our TV-dominated evenings into Boogie Nights.
My kids are 4, 8 and 11 years old. When I initially plugged in the “ball”, of course, I was the only one dancing for the first ten minutes. My kids glared at me like I was the weirdest mom on Planet Earth. Then, one child couldn’t resist the urge to move…then the next…and the next. Soon, we were shaking, lurching, rocking, and bopping like it was 1999. Since then, my kids have not stopped shaking their booties. We dance every day, at least once, sometimes more. We have fun, we laugh, we move it, move it. Try it and see the effects of this simple, no rules approach to joyfulness.
Can you imagine dancing with your parents when you were a kid? This is a memory I am thrilled my children will have to cherish. I will cherish it too, more than words can express.
These Boogie Days and Boogie Nights provide a beautiful, healthy example of liberation to our children. Moving the body frees the spirit, not through discipline or structure but rather through free expression. Free Expression. Let those words sink in…
I want to raise my children to be free of repression. I want to raise my children to be wildly creative. I want my children to have the the outrageous courage to think outside the box. I want my children to know that every day there is time for joy.
So, for the rest of our lives, my kids and I will be dancing like the stars in our little family room. We won’t be waiting for a party, or a wedding, or a night out to do the wild thing.
By the time you read this, I’ll be workin’ it with my kids, or maybe even by myself. It doesn’t matter. It’s a happy thing…cut loose…try it. Have you watched your kids dance lately? It’s pretty entertaining. You won’t be able to wipe the smile off your face. I guarantee it.
For more tips and tools for parents, visit www.lilystruth.com where you will find cutting edge, new energy concepts in parenting.
Smokin’ Hot Mama by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth
15 Apr 2009 1 Comment
by lilystruth in Uncategorized Tags: aging, aging gracefully, articles, articles for mothers, articles for women, authenticity, breaking rules, change of life, chick lit, comedy, commentary, conscious living, conscious relationships, dancing, dieting, drinking, eating, editorial, empowering mothers, empowering women, empowering yourself, empowerment, Family, finding happiness, free spirit, free-thinking, freedom, fun, funloving, funny, getting older, girl talk, happiness, having fun, hot relationships, how to be happy, humorous, inspiring, joy, joyful living, just for fun, laughing at life, laughing at self, laughter, liberation, life, life and humor, life at 40 and up, life for women, lifestyle, Lily's Truth, living passionately, middle-age, middle-age women, midlife, mothering, musings, my life, no religion, no rules, painting, Parenting, party, people, people who annoy me, random thoughts, reflections, relationships, self-help for women, sexy, Shaumbra, singing, spiritual values, Susan A. Haid, Susan Haid, the freedom of getting older, things I hate, things I love, thoughts, truth, values, weight loss, wisdom, wisdom for women, women, women's life, writing, www.lilystruth.com
by Susan A. Haid
Over the past 46 years of my life, I have learned a thing or two about myself. There has been nothing extraordinary about me or my life circumstances. I am an ordinary woman who has lived an ordinary life. Well, except for the part of me that talks to dead people. But hey, other than that one little thing, I’m just a normal gal. That is another story for another time. In spite of my otherwise conventional life, I have come to a place where I can fully accept myself…all of me…the good, the bad, the ugly, the normal and the not-so-normal. Although this might seem to be a natural evolution of maturity, it is actually a profound transformation that forever changes everything. What I now know is that a little bit of “crazy” can be a good thing, a very good thing indeed.
You see, when I started to live freely without self-judgment, then I started truly living. I no longer care about the full figure I am wearing at midlife. Instead, I can see my own beauty, even if society cannot. I wear clothes that are comfortable, flowing and lovely. I no longer worry about dieting. I concern myself only with joy, health and balance. Happiness certainly must be correlated with health and longevity, but I don’t need a scientific study to prove it. If I happen to die a premature death, I die a happy person. So there you are.
Later in life, I have taken up belly dancing, opera singing and painting just for the fun of it. I don’t expect to be very good at these things but I do have fun. At this point in life, having fun is, well, just so much more fun than being good. And I love that I don’t have any rules to follow…hmmm, when did the rules get to be so important anyway?
When I am with other people, I don’t care about anything other than just having a good time. In fact, my bottom line has become all about the fun factor. I now choose to be around people who can laugh and be merry, who are lighthearted and joyful, and yes, who can party like there is no tomorrow. Although it may be irreverent, I can laugh at almost anything. After throwing a party, I chuckle at the number of wine bottles in my recycle bin.
I love to be with people who are accepting and free-spirited. I seek out friends who have no need or desire to view the world through the eyes of judgment and control. I believe in progress through conscious awareness but not through moral condemnation. The one thing I still need to work on is my acceptance of self-righteous, condemning people; I avoid them like the plague and have not found my peace within their presence as of yet. In fact, these folks irritate me more than anyone else, at least for now. In spite of my overall Zen demeanor, these types still cause me to bristle. But my new, enlightened strategy is to find a way to joke about it. My current irritations are great fodder for some very funny stuff as you might imagine; humor really does diffuse the irritation.
I engage in conversations freely and openly, no longer worrying about what I might say. I am authentic and true to myself. I try to laugh as much as possible whenever and wherever possible. I am serious by nature, but I am learning the art of living with grand humor. I have learned to laugh at myself, and OMG, I am hilarious.
It no longer matters to me that my kids are not the most well-behaved children on the block or may not get the best grades. What matters to me is that they are learning through their own experience and cultivating their own brand of wisdom of which self-acceptance is a part. In liberating myself, I have unwittingly liberated my children. This alone is profound and very blessed.
I don’t worry about morality because that is just another form of judgment and control. Instead I live by my one cardinal rule which is Compassion. My life became very simple and unencumbered when I finally let go of all my silly judgments and rules. I didn’t suddenly become wildly reckless and outrageously irresponsible as a result. I have become instead deeply loving and accepting of all people and all ways of living. This also helped me see the world quite clearly. Mostly, I can feel my own joy, and it feels really, really good.
In my past life, I had a perfect body, a gorgeous face and lots of attention from men (not to mention a whole boatload of repression). Today, what really tickles my fancy is that it is no longer the men who tell me that I’m sexy, it’s the women. I have had many women blurt out that they think I’m sexy, and I can assure you that there is nothing about me that meets our cultural standard of “sexy.” I am full-figured, fine-lined, stretch-marked, saggy, baggy and perfectly, ecstatically, joyfully happy. I have thrown my head back and laughed out loud more than once when told by a woman that I am sexy. However, what these women are sensing is an inner sexy that has nothing to do with superficial appearances.
I am wearing the look of genuine warmth, joy, peace and acceptance, and these attributes are monumentally magnetic in a world weary of surface appearances, masks and games. In telling my story, I am telling the story of liberation, acceptance, true happiness and lasting beauty that never ages, needs Botox or loses sex appeal. At midlife, I am one smokin’ hot mama.
If I am fortunate enough to become a smokin’ hot granny, I hope I am that ridiculous old gal who wears a rhinestone-studded cowboy hat, an oversized t-shirt and thigh-high vinyl boots when she dances for her lover. I hope I break a few ribs with extreme, insufferable, side-splitting laughter. I hope I have a few too many glasses of cabernet and way too much chocolate. I hope I love everyone I meet with shameless, furious, passionate abandon. I hope to become an eccentric old bird who didn’t waste a moment of her life on the things that don’t really matter. If I get my way, I have about 40 smokin’ hot years left, and there’s no good reason I can think of for turning back now.
Does this mean I am going to ride off naked into the sunset on a Harley? Maybe it does. And from now on, when you hear me counting calories, I am just figuring out how hot it’s getting in here. Oh, and can you pass me a fork? I’m digging in…
For more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth visit www.lilystruth.com.