For many kids, learning to read is an arduous process.  Of course, there are developmental landmarks that must be reached before literacy skills can reach their full potential.  Unfortunately, standardized testing in today’s public schools require that children learn to read at the same time, at the same pace, in the same way, like cookies punched from cookie-cutters. This leaves little room for a child’s natural rate of development to unfold. This natural rate of development is replaced with pressure to learn before the brain is ready.

When reading skills come easily and naturally to a child, the child feels intelligent and confident about their ability to learn.  Frankly, it should be no surprise that children who learn to read at a slower rate, a rate deemed ‘less than proficient’ by standardized testing, feel ‘stupid’.  Their confidence in their ability to learn is damaged very early on. Moreover, their self-esteem and self-confidence is broken as well.

It has been my experience that slow readers are told to read, read, read. Practice makes perfect.  Of course, what is a parent and a child to do?  This seems like an obvious solution.  However, when a child is placed in a pressure cooker and forced to learn at a rate that is not equivalent to their developmental level, then we have created bigger problems that overshadow mere literacy skills.

It is time that we change how we are teaching our children to read. Instead of teaching in a manner that suits the teacher, a manner that gives the appearance of ease and expedience, a manner that is as old as time, we should be facilitating the learning process in ways that are gentle, enjoyable and elegant for the child.

There is a way, you see, a way that is older than time itself: singing.

Why singing?  To start with, when we sing, the whole brain is involved. Science is beginning to understand the benefits of whole-brain learning; whole-brain learning, or connecting both hemispheres of the brain during the learning process, is highly desirable and extremely beneficial.  Singing accomplishes this along with enhancing fluency and building comprehension of language structure.

Pretty good.  And fun too.

As we cut back on funding for arts in the schools, we need to rethink this decision.   I believe the answer here is to merge arts with education directly, blending the arts with the learning process right in the classroom. Learning will be much more fun for everyone, much more whole-brain, and much, much more joyful and memorable.

I have used this gentle method with my own children.  We still read books, of course, every day.  But when my kids sing along with sheet music and a companion CD, they sing for hours….on and off all day long.  They read and sing their lyrics over and over and over.  This kind of repetition I could not achieve with a book alone.

They are learning to read without barriers and pressure.  They are learning to read in a joyful and magical way.  My house is filled with the sweetness of music and young voices all day long.

By the way, my kids are gaining an education in music too.

The biggest suggestion I might offer if you are going to try this with your own children is this: use beautiful music.  Use beautiful music….kids respond to it, well, beautifully.  Between fabulous Andrew Lloyd Webber compositions and lively broadway show tunes, there is a wealth of grand music to choose from.

Before you know it, your kids will be singing, singing, singing!  And oh gosh, they’ll be learning to read too.

For more tools to empower your children, visit www.lilystruth.com.

As the pressure on public school teachers increases to raise student test scores, and the boom lowers on our kids to perform on standardized testing, as funds drain away and classroom sizes swell, what is the educational experience becoming? More importantly, how much of this knowledge is being retained by our kids? I believe current statistics report that after three years, students retain approximately 20-30 percent of the knowledge imparted in the classroom.

Humph.

As importantly, a question to be asked is this, are our children enjoying school? Or has it become simply ‘nose to the grindstone’ for everyone? I have asked myself this question many times over as I have packed my kids off to school.

Kids, quite naturally, learn through pretend play, imaginative play and physical activity. So why are we asking them to sit at a desk for hours on end, pushing a pencil, with little application of their creative abilities? This just seems counterintuitive to me.

As a personal experiment, this summer I have spent many hours educating my kids in unconventional ways. By the way, I have three children who are ages 5, 9 and 12 years old. We have engaged in theatre games, short plays, art-based mathematics projects, broadway show tunes, monologues, pantomime and story-telling among other things. My goal has been to enhance literacy skills, build complex math concepts and facilitate the emergence of the unique giftedness within my kids.

We have converted my living room and dining room into a playhouse replete with stage curtains and spotlights. We have ‘played’ for hours on end. To my surprise and delight, my kids have begged for more. Most of all, I have had the deeply touching experience of watching my children learn in a magical and playful way that has opened their hearts. My kids are becoming far more expressive, creative, communicative and confident.

Wow.

These are important life skills to cultivate in every child. With a little face paint and some props from our local thrift store, we have made magic in our living room. Funny thing is, my kids remember every detail of what they have learned because they were involved on all levels in their learning experience. Even better, they have had a blast. Best of all, so have I.

The arts are for everyone, not just elite actors or creative types. My boys are extremely athletic, but they have loved every minute of this “school”.  Methinks it’s time to revamp education. Learning can and should be a joyful, memorable experience. Yes, yes, I know that funding of schools depends on test scores. But frankly, I refuse to pressure my kids. I will not have their natural creativity, self-esteem and self-expression thwarted….you see, kids DO define themselves by test scores. This is the greatest tragedy of all.

My kids are learning about who they really are. They are finding tremendous joy in learning, even though most of the time, they are not even aware that they are learning. For them, they’re just having fun.

So, I’ll keep you posted on the growth I witness in my own kids as we continue to play in our home theatre, so-to-speak. We’ll be inviting friends and neighbors to join us soon as everyone wants to get in on the fun.

My kids, in a very short period of time, have bloomed into life. I have found them singing in the shower, trying on different personalities, and experimenting with comedy and improvisation.  So where is all this leading?

Well, creativity is something everyone has and it applies to every endeavor in life. As the world falls apart around us, this just may be the most valuable and important attribute my kids leave home with in the years to come. At the very least, we have made memories to last a lifetime.

For more information and tools for empowering yourself and your kids, visit www.lilystruth.com.

Children today live in a complex, rapidly changing and often confusing world. Helping kids find clarity, direction and confidence in themselves is a challenging responsibility for parents, caregivers and teachers alike. To help support a young person’s growing sense of empowerment, Lily’s Truth, a book and a DVD, has been developed to make parenting an easier road to travel. The primary concepts addressed in the book and DVD are:

1. Self-knowledge
2. Trust
3. Individuality
4. Standards
5. Communication
6. Rights
7. Faith in Self
8. Beliefs
9. Passion
10. Commitment
11. Forgiveness
12. Courage
13. Appreciation
14. Acceptance
15. Love
16. Peace
17. God Within

The course is available as a DVD/CD multimedia package or as a book. The artful and beautiful 2- hour DVD production comes complete with music, illustrations, narration, printable contemplation cards and a printable coloring book.

For more exciting and supportive information, visit www.lilystruth.com.

Have you ever wondered if angels are real? The Gift is an adult novel based on the author’s real-life interactions with the existent realms of spirit beyond Earth. This entertaining and insightful book describes the extraordinary experiences that unfold when we choose to open up to the invisible realms of spirit. The author takes the reader on an exciting and deeply touching journey to meet a group of angelic beings, called the Crimson Council, who are currently working on Earth to guide and support humanity. Written first from the perspective of an awakening human being then moving into the viewpoint of a fully conscious divine human, The Gift is an enthralling, page-turning novel that is simply impossible to put down. The book articulately describes Earth experience from the standpoint of the angels, leaving the reader with an appreciation of the majesty of human existence, the power of the soul, and the ultimate truth that we walk every minute of our physical existence in the loving, ever-present company of the angels.

For more infomation about The Gift or for new ideas in consciousness and spirituality, visit www.lilystruth.com.

Excerpt from the new book  Smokin’ Hot Mama by Susan A. Haid:

…….In my past life, I had a perfect body, a gorgeous face and lots of attention from men (not to mention a whole boatload of repression). Today, what really tickles my fancy is that it is no longer the men who tell me that I’m sexy, it’s the women. I have had many women blurt out that they think I’m sexy, and I can assure you that there is nothing about me that meets our cultural standard of “sexy.” I am full-figured, fine-lined, stretch-marked, saggy, baggy and perfectly, ecstatically, deliriously happy. I have thrown my head back and laughed out loud more than once when told by a woman that I am sexy. However, what these women are sensing is an inner sexy that has nothing to do with superficial appearances. I am wearing the look of genuine warmth, joy, peace and acceptance, and these attributes are monumentally magnetic in a world weary of surface appearances, masks and games. In telling my story, I am telling the story of liberation, acceptance, true happiness and lasting beauty that never ages, needs Botox or loses sex appeal. At midlife, I am one Smokin’ Hot Mama……

Smokin’ Hot Mama is a light-hearted, fun, funny little book that invites the reader to step boldly (and nakedly) into complete liberation and full acceptance of oneself. Take a ride with Smokin’ Hot Mama as she throws convention to the wind, laughs brazenly at herself and at life in general. Written with hilarity and poignancy, this is a book you will read over and over again. It will warm your heart and lift your spirit. Quite possibly, you will never look at yourself the same way again. After turning the final page, you might be hopelessly inclined to fall in love with yourself.  For more exciting details, visit http://www.lilystruth.com.

It was recently recycle day in my neighborhood, and this was the first opportunity for pick-up since Christmas Eve. Typical to January in Colorado, it was only 15 degrees on this arctic morning.  As I stood shivering in my garage with an “OMG” expression on my face, staring overwhelmingly across the mighty and merciless heaps of jam-packed recycle bins, I wondered  how I would get this small landfill curbside.  I could simply carry the containers to the edge of my drive, just a short 50-feet away. But did I want to tread treacherously across sheer ice? With one fatal step, my back would be painfully out-of-whack for the next 12 months. This was just too much to ask.

The solution, albeit hardly green, was profoundly elegant if not ever so slightly humiliating. But in the spirit of bodily preservation, I wholeheartedly opted for humiliation.

Attired attractively in fleece pajamas, a down jacket and fireman-style boots, I serenely loaded my hoard into the trunk of my car, calmly backed down the short 50-foot distance, and, without remorse, unloaded my refuse.

Good for the environment, you say?  If it weren’t for the extra hole I had to put in the ozone layer for running my engine, not to mention the five dollars I spent in gas,  I might agree.   But, I am happy to report that my back is in tremendous shape.

I have no doubt that my neighbors are wondering when I lost my mind.  However, I have no doubt that every mother on the block understands.

BTW, I won’t be auditioning for Survivor anytime soon. Surprised?

For humorous stories from the new book by Susan A. Haid entitled Smokin’ Hot Mama, visit www.lilystruth.com where you will also find new and exciting tools and resources for parents and children.

A few months ago, I purchased a multi-colored, rotating disco ball lamp for my kids. My intent was to have some fun from time to time dancing with my kids. What has surprised me is this: the addition of this tacky, retro-style lamp to my family room decor has turned our TV-dominated evenings into Boogie Nights.

My kids are 4, 8 and 11 years old. When I initially plugged in the “ball”, of course, I was the only one dancing for the first ten minutes.  My kids glared at me like I was the weirdest mom on Planet Earth.  Then, one child couldn’t resist the urge to move…then the next…and the next.  Soon, we were shaking, lurching, rocking, and bopping like it was 1999.  Since then, my kids have not stopped shaking their booties. We dance every day, at least once, sometimes more.   We have fun, we laugh, we  move it, move it. Try it and see the effects of this simple, no rules approach to joyfulness.

Can you imagine dancing with your parents when you were a kid? This is a memory I am thrilled my children will have to cherish. I will cherish it too, more than words can express.

These Boogie Days and Boogie Nights provide a beautiful, healthy example of liberation to our children. Moving the body frees the spirit, not through discipline or structure but rather through free expression. Free Expression.  Let those words sink in…

I want to raise my children to be free of repression. I want to raise my children to be wildly creative. I want my children to have the the outrageous courage to think outside the box. I want my children to know that every day there is time for joy.

So, for the rest of our lives, my kids and I will be dancing like the stars in our little family room. We won’t be waiting for a party, or a wedding, or a night out to do the wild thing.

By the time you read this, I’ll be workin’ it with my kids, or maybe even by myself.  It doesn’t matter. It’s  a happy thing…cut loose…try it.  Have you watched your kids dance lately?  It’s pretty entertaining.  You won’t be able to wipe the smile off your face.  I guarantee it.

For more tips and tools for parents, visit www.lilystruth.com where you will find cutting edge, new energy concepts in parenting.

All children are extraordinary. The messages our children receive from the world around them affect their developing perception of themselves, often damaging their self-esteem very early on. If we want our children to grow up with a strong sense of self-worth, feeling free to apply their individual brand of talent without doubt or limitation, then we need do three simple things for our kids on an ongoing basis:

1) Make sure your child knows that every child is creatively gifted in some way. Exploration in all areas of life needs to be fully supported by parents but chosen as an area of personal interest and discovery by the child first. Kids must be encouraged to experiment with creativity not only in the traditional academic areas identified as areas of “giftedness” but in all areas: science, writing, art, music, invention, sports, music, dance or whatnot. The list of areas in which to encourage creativity and originality is endless.  Creativity can be applied to any endeavor, and talent can be cultivated without limiting notions of what talent should look like to be considered valid.

2) Make sure kids know that grades and test scores do not define who they are or what their capability is. Grades and test scores indicate only a very small portion of who our kids really are.  The message kids get from parents should be on the importance of being educated. Kids naturally use grades and test scores to evaulate their worth and ability, and this affects their self-image and self-esteem; Kids need to get the message that they are capable of far more than a grade or test can ever indicate. Children must also understand that grades, either good or bad, do not guarantee success or failure in life.   The formula for success in life goes far, far beyond grade point averages.  Children must be encouraged to appreciate their own talents and gifts, understanding their potential in life is always unlimited.

3) Provide creative opportunities to stimulate your child’s imagination. Ensure that kids have free time, without structure, pressure, discipline or other demands, to give them the opportunity to use their imaginations.  Creativity and the imagination go hand-in-hand.  Because we live, by and large, in a culture that places unduly heavy emphasis on the intellect alone, the imagination is not, as of yet, cultivated to its full potential.  Without the use of the imagination, new ideas, discoveries, cures and other amazing potentials would not exist.  As a wonderful aside, creative activities help kids (and adults) to feel happy, energized and purposeful.

Your child is extraordinary!  For more exciting information about raising empowered, happy kids, visit www.lilystruth.com for additional tools to raise amazing children.

Contemporary culture, the media, and society-at-large is full of conflicting messages for our teenagers, frequently delivering an exploitative, degrading and superficial model of sex and sexuality.   Now, more than at any other time in history, is when we need to support our kids in cultivating healthy relationships and balanced sexuality.  We need to be having conversations, on an ongoing basis, that aren’t about sex necessarily, these important discussions are about standards, boundaries, self-respect and self-worth.

How do we begin these talks?  Frankly, these conversations and messages to our children need to start when they are very young. Remember, the baseline conversation is not about sex, it is about self-respect and self-worth. This is also not a conversation about moral beliefs. Why? Because this is not about controlling or repressing our children’s nature desires, sexuality and self-expression.  This is about supporting our children in making choices that are firmly rooted in self-worth. We must help our kids understand what sexual and sensual feelings are, help them understand that these feelings and desires are natural and beautiful, and help them understand how to express them in a healthy way that honors them and leads to balanced, joyful and respectful relationships.

The foundation we can give our kids, that will evolve into healthy choices during the teen years and beyond, can be built upon the following principles:

1) Teach kids to respect and honor themselves, their thoughts, their feelings, their beliefs. Remove all fear-based teachings completely.   Teach kids to trust the authority within themselves rather than putting their power into an outside source.  When we teach a child to make choices that constantly please others, that please God, or that gives their power away to another person, this confuses them and disconnects them from doing what is best for themselves.  These traditional teachings prevent kids from making clear, conscious choices that honor their own being first.

2) Teach kids to take responsibility for their choices.  Their locus of control should be placed where it belongs to be effective, which is within themselves. Kids must learn to make choices and trust themselves in this process.  If they feel their life is controlled by an outside source alone, they will never take full responsibility for their choices and actions.

3) Teach kids to seek out relationships that are mutually honoring, compassionate and respectful. No games or manipulations allowed.  Safe, supportive, respectful relationships are the rule at all times.  If a child is in touch with their self-worth, this will happen naturally.  As parents, it is mandatory that we teach this by example.

4) Teach kids to get comfortable in their empowerment and their sovereignty: teach them to let go of dishonoring relationships and seek out relationships of a higher order.  Let kids know it is OK to terminate a relationship immediately that is dishonoring, disrespectful, unloving or unsafe.

5) Model these concepts yourself.   Accept only loving, honoring relationships in your own life. Create a safe space in your own life, in your own home, that has its roots in mutual honor and respect.   This is the rule to live by.

More than ever before, it is mandatory that we as parents guide our children and teens using a relationship model that goes beyond traditional rhetoric that attempts to control or repress developing sexuality in kids and teens. The truth is that these old modalities twist and damage our children’s sexual energy, leading to the development of dysfunctional sexual expression that kids carry throughout adulthood.  These old methods, based in morality teachings or fear/control-based beliefs, simply don’t work, and they do more damage than good.   The truth is that these old teachings result in extensive damage to a child’s developing sexuality.

The result is that the pendulum swings the other way; we then witness an eruption of dysfunctional, exploitative, and degrading sexual energies pervading our society.  This twisting of energies is seen not only in sexual expression alone, it is seen as acts of violence, oppression, manipulation and degradation of every kind.  This distortion has infected every institution and every governing body.  It is time we connected the dots here and cleaned this up, starting with our own families.  We are the only ones who can do it, you see.

It is time that we give our children new tools to live by, and we must choose them for ourselves first.

For more information about empowering your children, visit www.lilystruth.com for tools to help raise healthy, happy, successful kids.  Lily’s Truth was designed as a tool to support parents in raising amazing children.  Check it out!

One of the best things we can do as parents is simply listen, with an open mind and an open heart, to our children. We represent the safe space, so to speak, where our kids can say exactly what they’re thinking and feeling without judgment. This is a very, very important role we play and not to be underestimated in it’s influence on our child’s development. As parents, we often feel the need to guide or control our children, and although this role has its place, sometimes the very best thing we can do is listen, just listen. When we become the sounding board for our kids, we give them the opportunity to figure things out for themselves and feel supported in their experiences. Expect that what your kids will say will be contradictory, full of emotion, or drama, or self-centeredness. This is O.K.   Kids need to vent just like adults do. We don’t need to make every conversation a life lesson.   When we simply listen with presence, we have created a place where kids are free to express themselves openly then let those energies lie until the answers emerge on their own.   When children know they have your presence and support in this way, they are free to think and feel without fear, without control, without guilt or shame.   The answers they will come up with, then, will be clear, empowered and honoring of the self.  Of course, there will be times when lengthly, guiding conversations are necessary. But most of the time, our job as a parent is very simple: listen.   This takes a lot of pressure off of the job of parenting. Try it and and see.   It seems to work miracles, but the real miracle is the natural wisdom that exists within your child.

For more refreshing ideas about new ways to parent and empower your child, and for new and exciting concepts, visit www.lilystruth.com.