Building Core Values In Children: Home Course For Families by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

Raising children to become conscientious, empowered, responsible and joyful adults who are in complete charge of their lives is what we strive for as parents. If you could give your kids the skills and the tools to do this, it is something you would do in without a second thought. I am going to be direct and to the point here. There is a course available to you now that can give you the resources to build core values in your children at home. You see, I began putting this information together over a decade ago when my first child was born. I wanted something different for my kids…something that would cut through the confusion and give them the knowledge to move through life with self-confidence, authority, faith and keen, razor-sharp clarity.
The nuts and bolts skills I offer came as a result of my own life experience. Although I am an educated woman, I believe that life experience is our ultimate teacher. I have put every ounce of wisdom I possess into my Core Values Home Course. I want life to be better for my kids and for yours, so I painstakingly set about distilling my experiences into practical knowledge for parents and their families. I have studied many spiritual paths over the course of my life and culminated my experience into very simple, all-encompassing basic lessons. These are real world lessons with real world tools. I know that the information I have to offer you is valuable. I know this because once I understood these life lessons and put them to work in my own life with my own kids, our lives unfolded gently into a life of joy, fulfillment and empowerment. This material has helped and supported me and my children so completely that I am making it available to all families.
The course I have designed is called Lily’s Truth. There are 17 chapters that give clear, concise and complete information on these concepts:

1. Authority
2. Trust
3. Individuality
4. Standards
5. Communication
6. Rights
7. Faith
8. Beliefs
9. Passion
10. Commitment
11. Letting Go
12. Courage
13. Appreciation
14. Acceptance
15. Love
16. Peace
17. God Within All Life

The course is available as a DVD/CD multimedia package or as a book. This artful and beautiful 2- hour production comes complete with music, illustrations and narration. This project truly extends from my heart to yours. My intent is to make the journey through life easier for our kids than it has been for us. My intent also is to offer parents support in their job. This gift is for you, your children and your families.
Very soon, I will be offering a workshop that will teach the above skills through play via an exciting game for parents and kids alike. If you are interested in this workshop, contact me at my website for further details.
Finally, if you have any questions about this project, please contact me, Susan A. Haid, at contact@lilystruth.com. My website is www.lilystruth.com. I hope to hear from you, and I hope to continue to offer outstanding parenting products so that we can raise our children better than ever before.

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How to Teach Your Children about Responsibility: 5 Tips For Ages 5 -12/PART 2 by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

Every time I mandate that my three children, ages 3 to 10, help with the dishes, housecleaning, laundry, pets or some other mundane task, I prove to myself over and over again how important these experiences are for my children. Of course, their contribution makes my life easier. However, I clearly see that they are not only quite capable of accomplishing these tasks, they are learning to take responsibility for their own life in the process.

Here are five tips to teach kids how to take responsibility around the home and for their developing lives.

1. Help kids learn how to organize and manage their belongings.  We need to require that our kids clean their rooms, make their beds, put their own laundry away, keep track of their homework and school projects, sports gear, musical instruments and so on. Once in a while, we can give them a hand, but kids should know that they are the ones ultimately responsible for these duties.
2. Help kids become active contributors to life at home.  Every member of a home should contribute to the upkeep and management of the home. Age appropriate duties should be assigned to each family member, and once every week or two, the family should work together to accomplish these tasks. Duties such as dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, wiping down the countertops, raking leaves and even cooking are jobs kids of all ages can participate in. These duties give our kids the skills to become competent contributors as adults.
3. Help kids learn to set boundaries so they honor their own needs as well as respect the needs of others.  This is a fundamental lesson parents need to teach their kids. It’s OK in many circumstances to say no. We want our kids to stay in touch with what they may need and give them the skills to meet those needs. We also want our kids to be aware that everyone has the right to set boundaries when they are appropriate and necessary. This is a basic life skill.
4. Help kids learn to be accepting of differences.  Having nonjudgmental conversations about the differences we encounter in the viewpoints, lifestyle, beliefs and ideas of others is a basic tenet of building a philosophy of acceptance and compassion in our kids. These are great conversations to have because they ultimately help our kids get clear about who they are, what they think and what they believe. This also means that our kids should have a safe place to express their individual viewpoint even if it is different from our own.
5. Help kids accept the outcome of their choices and create new ones.
It is the ultimate empowerment experience when kids make their own choices and have their own resulting experiences. As parents, of course we need to be aware of what our kids are choosing so that we can intervene if it is necessary to do so. Although it is often difficult to give up control, we simply can’t make every decision for our kids. This deprives them of their experiences, the consequences of which are far less during childhood compared to adulthood. As often as it is reasonable to give our kids the authority to make choices for themselves, we should do so and understand we are respecting their individuality, honoring their learning process and building their knowledge of and confidence in themselves.

These are basic requirements that have worked well in my home so far. I respect the rights of my children to live freely and happily. As their mother, I want my kids to have the skills to manage their lives very well without me or without the help of anyone else if they choose. I want to help my children become empowered and sovereign. By giving them reasonable responsibilities and expectations, I hope to provide them with the simple knowledge about how to successfully manage their own lives after they leave home. And ultimately, I want them to soar!

For more helpful information about empowering children, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.

How to Teach Your Children about Responsibility: 5 Tips for Kids Ages 5-12/ PART 1 by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

How long of a tether do you keep on your kids? The struggle for authority is an age-old dilemma. Who chooses? How much authority should we give our kids? Freedom is something we all need, yet how do we structure our lives so that we get what we need and our children have the appropriate setting in which to make their own choices, learn and grow?
As long as our kids are at home with us, there is a safety net beneath them. Certainly we want the most for our children. We want them to surpass our goals and achieve ones of their own. So we want them to grow. We want them to face challenges. As parents, where do we begin? How do we know what is appropriate, and how do we know exactly what our kids need to do to learn responsibility? This is a nagging question, and although there is no easy way through the parenting process, there are certain basic things we can do to help our kids become responsible adults.
Here are 5 basic strategies to help kids learn the basics:

1. Help kids develop knowledge of themselves and appreciation of their individuality.  We must give our kids the freedom to choose which activities and interests they wish to explore. It is our job to facilitate their discovery of their individual and very personal interests by listening to who they are and what they tell us. This means we do not impose our interests and ideas upon them. After offering to them various different opportunities, we accept and support their choices without judgment.
2. Help kids take ownership of their choices. We need to look at every experience our kids have as an opportunity to cultivate self-understanding. This means that when our kids make choices for themselves, they learn to evaluate the consequences without judgment from us. This gives them time to figure out certain life lessons for themselves within the parameter of a safe setting. This is far more impactful that mere rhetoric from us. We are here to listen and offer support during this process. It is a tremendously valuable experience to let our kids make reasonable choices cradled within the opportunity to start over when things don’t turn out as anticipated.
3. Help kids learn how to manage their time. As parents, we help our kids to do this by setting forth our expectations of their responsibilities for the day (homework, athletic or music practice, chores etc.) and then allowing them to accomplish their duties independently, of course with a gentle reminder or two along the way. There should be reasonable consequences in place for failure to accomplish general expectations.
4. Help kids to accept their feelings without judgment. This starts with our ability to accept our own feelings without judgment. Our kids observe how we accept, experience and appropriately express our feelings. This gives them the standard for accepting and expressing their own feelings. Then, we must give our kids the space to appropriately feel their feelings without judgment. This gives our kids the beautiful knowledge about how to take responsibility for their own feelings when they are in a safe space to do so.
5. Help our kids to set their goals for the day, weeks or months ahead. We must set aside some time to listen to what our kids are hoping to experience in the days, week and months ahead. This gives us the opportunity to discuss what might be possible for our child to accomplish and experience with our help and support. This helps our kids learn how to take charge of their life by actively pursuing their developing interests by making them become a reality.

Setting forth strict and uncompassionate guidelines deprives our kids of their ultimate authority in the long run. Conversely, setting forth no guidelines whatsoever undermines the development of a child’s sense of authority and mastery over their life.
Let kids see the results of their own choices. Let them hear the impact of their own words. They must be able to experiment with the world before them.
Part 2 of this article coming soon! In the meantime, for more information about conscious parenting, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.

Building Core Values in Children; New Insights in Parenting by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

There is a dilemma in parenting right now regarding the concept of “core values.” How does a parent build core values in a child? Let’s begin by talking about the innate and natural abilites that exist within a child by making the assumption that there is, in most people, the ability to self-regulate. We must understand this self-regulation mechanism and understand its value in parenting.

To begin with, let me present a metaphor. When a person stands up, there is something called “equilibrium” that takes place. Balance is something that is acquired as one learns to stand up and walk as babies do; babies learn with practice how to build the skills needed to learn to walk about without trouble. Of course, assistance is necessary in the toddler years, but proficiency grows with each new step. After trial and error, and some will-power to grow, the changes occur within ourselves to become efficient walkers. There is nothing about the mechanisms of this but trial and error. It is the same with learning to grow spiritually and building core values within oneself. There is not a lot about it that requires great strength. It has a way of beginning and growing from within itself all on its own, yet most profoundly through experience.

Children are not seekers of great truth; it overwhelms them. A sadness occurs within each child, a sadness that remains when values are imposed which force upon them a highly restrictive right-wrong system of living…a system which may shut down and confuse their innate ability to make conscious, conscientious choices. Instead, maybe we should let children teach themselves in as many situations that reasonably allow for it. Within the perimeter of a safe setting, we can let our kids figure out which side of the fence they’re on. They can choose which is the “right” side or the “left” side. We should understand that each way brings with it its own choices and discoveries. Neither choice is the “right” way or the “wrong” way. Each choice is valid.

This type of learning is experiential. It has its merits. The question, “Which way is the right way?” should be replaced with, “Which way will I choose?” and “How will I decide?” This method supports the development of corrective mechanisms as well as creative opportunities for growth. The struggle may be there, yes, it will be. At least in the face of a struggle, there is an opportunity for growth and change. In the midst of struggle, a desire comes forth that commands our attention. We must be seen, heard and understood for who we are. This resonates clearly as we ring forth our truth like a great brass bell.

This method requires a parent to step outside of older models of parenting into new territory. But it seems to me that the knowledge and the skills a child builds through this exercise comes from within their own domain of experience. This is a very powerful form of learning that far outweighs the benefits of mere rhetoric.

Consider this parenting method in this light; have you ever questioned yourself? As you struggle to find your answer, finally, you let go, knowing you did what you thought was best. You let go. You then must ask yourself, are you “left” or “right”? Whatever the answer, it tells a story. It is a story of answers. The answers speak to you, and you self-regulate. Just like a baby learning to walk.

Sure, there might be a few bumps and bruises along the way. But the main thing is, you learned to walk. You now stand tall and proud.

For more insightful and supportive information on parenting and conscious living as well as information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.

One Big Tip for Surviving the Days Ahead by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

Failure. Stress. Chaos. Confusion. Doubt. These are words that describe life for most of us today. The changes that lie ahead for all of us demand tremendous courage. We are amidst a struggle that never seems to end. Chaos has become a regular part of our existence. We want to know how it will all end. We want to run away to a desert island, away from it all. We want to hear the waves lap upon the shore, feel the breeze on our skin, and spend a few days or weeks with nothing to do or nothing to think about. We simply want it all to go away. Moreover, we wish we could run away from it all.

So, hop aboard your little boat and head out to sea. Your little tin boat has a tiny outboard motor. You are alone and your resources are simple by choice. You are going to a desert island far out in the middle of the ocean. As you pull your little tin boat up onto the sandy beach, you look up at the tropical forest that lines the beach. You can hear the birds singing. Off somewhere in the forest you think you hear the beating of drums, and you cut into the forest to follow the sound. As you work your way deeper and deeper into the forest, there is no path to follow. You push through hanging vines, step over fallen trees, wipe the sweat from your brow, and forage your own trail. You don’t really know what lies ahead, but you push forward. You are hot, tired and hungry. The forest canopy is thick but the blue sky is hanging in the backdrop as you look overhead. There does not appear to be any end in sight. You, quite literally, cannot see the forest through the trees. You find yourself deep in the middle of nowhere. There is no path to follow and no indication of which way to go. You call out but there is no answer. You cry out to God but there is no answer. There is no way out. You are lost. You are alone.

After awhile, you notice that a little bird is singing over your shoulder. So, you wipe the tears from your eyes and you sit and listen to the little bird. For a minute, you forget that you are alone, and you feel just the tiniest bit of happiness. You stand up and brush yourself off. You look down at your palms which are dirty and empty. You look around and you decide to choose the direction that follows a small creek. You walk for a very long time along this little creek. By now, your feet are blistered and sore. You take off your shoes and soak your feet in the cool stream. You wash your dirty hands. This small act is refreshing, almost healing. You wash your face and let the cool water drip down over your shoulders and arms. And, you give thanks for the little stream that has eased your journey. You lie in the stream pondering what you are going to do. You are still lost. You are still alone. And you just don’t know what to do. You think about following your markings back to where you started. This is an option. You could go back. You could go back to your little boat and go home. And so you decide that this is safer. This ending has a guarantee. The guarantee is your little tin boat that awaits you on the beach. You follow your cuttings and markings all the way back to your boat.  It was just that while you were lost in the forest, you forgot that you could always go back.

 

Once you are back in your little boat, on your way back home, you both laugh and cry because you gave yourself quite a scare. You convinced yourself that you were lost and alone.

 

Now you are back at home once again. You gaze out over the ocean wistfully remembering your adventure. But you are happy to leave it behind. You want to fall into the comfort and security of home. You want to be free from the stress and worry of fighting for survival. What you want is to live a life of comfort, freedom, peace and security.

 

There’s nothing like an exciting adventure if we know that when the journey is over we can return to the comfort and safety of home. The adventures we take remind us that we are alive…that we are living and breathing through a very exciting time. We do it because we are adventurers. We love the adventure and the excitement. But more than anything, we love the discovery.

 
Once we have had our respite from the long and harrowing journey, not too much time passes before we are planning our next adventure. We can’t help ourselves. The adventures are fun, and deep inside we know there is more. We get so caught up in our adventures that we completely forget who we are or where we come from. The adventures seem so real that we forget that we can get out any time we want. We also forget that we can remain in the adventure with detachment, not getting so deeply immersed in the experience that we get lost in it, so lost in our forgetting that we can’t get out.

 

When this happens, pull yourself back into your life as an observer almost like a tourist on an adventure in an unknown land. Can you live your life with some detachment? Can you look at your life as an adventure? It’s OK not to get so serious about your life that you don’t get lost in it and lost in despair. This gives you a little bit of a buffer between yourself and the life you are experiencing.
This is not insulating yourself from your life or denying your life. This is simply finding your presence within your life. This presence has nothing to do with your experience but everything to do with who you are as a grand being. You are you. You have experiences. But you are not your life experiences. Your experiences are experiences, and you are you.

 
Give yourself the gift of this sacred space that is beyond your life experience. You are here in this world on an adventure. At times, the adventure is frightening, challenging, and sorrowful. At other times, the adventure is exciting, joyful and fulfilling. The adventure has a beginning and an end, but you do not. You are eternal.

 
It is possible in this world of challenge and stress, during the crumbling of the world around us, to maintain our balance by remembering that we can rise above these experiences by not getting lost in them. We must remember who we are. We are here to experience the adventure but not to get lost in the adventure.

 
We are here to see what we will see and know what we will know. But if we get lost and we can’t see our way out, it is because we have let ourselves believe that it is possible to get lost in the first place. Remember you are here for the journey but you are not the journey.

 
When we find ourselves getting so heavy with life, and it seems too hard, too painful, and so tough that we just can’t go on anymore, that is the time when we need to step back from life. That is when we have taken it all too seriously, so seriously that we have gotten lost and can’t find our way out.

 
Oh, but then again, we can find our way out. This is the time when we remind ourselves that we are taking a step back, a good, healthy step back, way, way back. We are pulling back so that we can rebalance, get clear and take a breather. From this new vantage point, we can let things be for a while. We can take a minute and remember who we are. Then when we are ready, we can take that bold step forward into life once again, this time refreshed and renewed. We can begin again.

 
We still may not know the answers, and we may not know where we’re headed. But when we’re refreshed and renewed, the answers and the direction unfold naturally and easily. We make life too hard. We struggle way too much. We stress, we fret, we fear, we dread. It’s only natural. It’s only human. Just remember not to get lost, and you’ll be OK. We all will.

 
Once you’ve been able to take that step back and you have separated yourself from your experience, you realize that you can go on, that you do have it in you. You have reconnected with the part of you that is unlimited, you see. You might even find that you want to go on and that you have something to live for.

 
After all, what is yet to come is an exciting prospect. The future just may hold something we don’t want to give up on or miss out on. We might even find some important answers or revolutionary discoveries along the way. What are they? Well, we’ll all have to wait and see.

For more helpful information about living peacefully and joyfully, or for more details about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com.

Can You Teach Your Child About Trust? Empowering Kids In a New Way by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

If you are anything like me, then you want your children to be able to tell the difference between the people they can trust and the people they can’t. Not only are these skills important for kids to learn during childhood, but these are vitally important skills they will carry into adulthood. There aren’t any common conventional ways to teach this important concept to kids, but I can give you some simple techniques that can help.
The single most important thing we can teach our children is to trust their perceptions, feelings and instincts. This means we should validate what our children see and feel, reflecting back to them that their perceptions are accurate. These natural protective mechanisms are so quickly and easily shut down in young children. Kids are often taught to override their natural instincts and hide their reactions in lieu of behaving in a manner that is considered polite, acceptable or appropriate.
We all have been culturally conditioned not to trust what we see and feel at the most fundamental level. We must admit that this has not served our best interests. This deficiency surely is not one we want to foster in our children, yet this conditioning has become akin to a virus…everyone does it. It should be perfectly acceptable for children to express what they see, what they think, and what they feel merely to have the important experience of having their viewpoint and feelings validated. We can help them learn to trust themselves. We can also teach our kids how to express themselves in a respectful yet honest way. If our children can trust themselves implicitly, then they will be able to take care of themselves perfectly well in almost any situation.
We must ensure that our kids have the opportunity to live as freely as possible, trusting their innate ability to know and to choose what is right for them. If we do, we will be proud to watch our children make choices that serve them well.

For more information about Techniques for Building Trust in Our Children, or for more details about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit http://www.lilystruth.com.

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