Smokin’ Hot Mama Goes Green

by Susan A. Haid

It was recently recycle day in my neighborhood, and this was the first opportunity for pick-up since Christmas Eve. Typical to January in Colorado, it was only 15 degrees on this arctic morning.  As I stood shivering in my garage with an “OMG” expression on my face, staring overwhelmingly across the mighty and merciless heaps of jam-packed recycle bins, I wondered  how I would get this small landfill curbside.  I could simply carry the containers to the edge of my drive, just a short 50-feet away. But did I want to tread treacherously across sheer ice? With one fatal step, my back would be painfully out-of-whack for the next 12 months. This was just too much to ask.

The solution, albeit hardly green, was profoundly elegant if not ever so slightly humiliating. But in the spirit of bodily preservation, I wholeheartedly opted for humiliation.

Attired attractively in fleece pajamas, a down jacket and fireman-style boots, I serenely loaded my hoard into the trunk of my car, calmly backed down the short 50-foot distance, and, without remorse, unloaded my refuse.

Good for the environment, you say?  If it weren’t for the extra hole I had to put in the ozone layer for running my engine, not to mention the five dollars I spent in gas,  I might agree.   But, I am happy to report that my back is in tremendous shape.

I have no doubt that my neighbors are wondering when I lost my mind.  However, I have no doubt that every mother on the block understands.

BTW, I won’t be auditioning for Survivor anytime soon. Surprised?

For humorous stories from the new book by Susan A. Haid entitled Smokin’ Hot Mama, visit where you will also find new and exciting tools and resources for parents and children.


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