The Effective Parent by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

A Tool for Effective Parents & Empowered Kids

A Tool for Effective Parents & Empowered Kids

By Susan A. Haid

Here are Ten Principles of the Effective Parent:

1) Offer your children committed love. Let your children know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you love them and you will always love them no matter what. Make this a clear and consistent message.

2) Become the best educator of your children’s basic life skills that you can be. This is far more valuable than what you can ever buy them.

3) Teach your children to trust themselves more than anything else. Keep your children connected to their innate inner navigational equipment. Do not underestimate the power of self-trust; this is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give your child.

4) Give your children reasonable freedom to make choices for themselves. There is only one finer teacher than you are, and that is life experience itself.

5) Give your children the gift of time to themselves without tv or technology. This opens the doorway to imaginative play that cultivates a powerful, lasting form of creativity and resourcefulness that serves a child for a lifetime.

6) Make every effort to offer compassion to your child, even when discipline or consequences are required. Children are learning and therefore require explanations, education and understanding more than anything else. Make compassion your best friend.

7) Listen to what your children have to say, even if their words are contradictory. They have a lot to figure out in a very complex world. Listen and be present.

8) Give your children reasonable, basic responsibilities. Everyone in a household should contribute to the welfare of the family.

9) Enjoy your children for who they are. As parents, we have no other responsibility other than to honor and appreciate who our children already are.

10) Stop whatever you are doing and openly accept and receive your child’s love. Revel in it! Take the time to bask in it as often as possible. There is no greater gift you will ever receive. Let it heal you.

For helpful information about joyful, effective parenting and raising empowered children, visit www.lilystruth.com for more.

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How to Raise a Happy Kid: Part 1 by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth, www.lilystruth.com

by Susan A. Haid

When all is said and done, as parents and caregivers, more than anything else we want our children to be happy.   In providing for our child’s happiness, where does our responsibility begin and where does it end?  As a mother of three active, inquisitive and involved children, I can tell you that my kids never stop asking for what they want.  If I obliged every request, there would be no end to the fulfilment of their needs and desires.   And in this puzzle, where do I fit in?

Being a happy Mom is also part of the formula, you see.  My kids, like most other kids their age, are involved in sports, music, dance and more.  They also have a very active social life with their friends.  As you know, this requires a big commitment on my part to ensure that all of these activities happen on a regular basis.

So, on the days when we don’t have plans readily in place comes the inevitable question, “What are we doing today?” which is always followed by the expected yet incessant response, “I’m bored.”

In empowering my children, I realize that my kids must learn to take responsibility for managing their own happiness when they have time to themselves.  Now, we all know what kids do when they’re bored. They fight with each other.  It’s a game for them, it’s fun and it kills time.  This also can push even the likes of Mother Theresa over the edge within a matter of seconds.

So what is a parent/caregiver to do?  I have learned that a good measure of patience is required to get through the initial phase of boredom kids will experience.  Then there is the consequent whining, pouting and demanding that will initially ensue.  This is when I make a few firm, non-negotiable statements to my children that today they must entertain themselves.  Ofcourse, the emotional manipulations continue for a good long while, but then my kids seem to figure something out.

I have watched my kids make choices to entertain themselves based on the resources they have at home.   This is the birthplace of imaginative play and creative activities. This is when my kids walk out the door to play with rocks, sticks, dirt and grass.  This is when they enter the magical and wondrous world of their imaginations.  It’s getting beyond the initial resistance that is the hardest part.  I have learned to stand my ground and not give in to the whining, complaining and demanding because something wonderful is about to happen.

Some of the most beautiful experiences I have had in teaching my kids to take responsibility for entertaining themselves has occurred while we have been outdoors.  Out in the forest or by a stream, there is so much naturally available to keep a kid occupied without the crutch of a computer game, ipod or television.   Once a child gets immersed in nature, hours will pass by without a peep.  The next amazing thing that happens is that the child begins to relax and let go of the need to seek stimulation from other people or from technology.  With every hour a child is submersed in the magical world of nature, the child innately returns to his or her own peaceful state of being.  This is so healthy for our children.

Kids need down time.  Kids need time to be alone with themselves.  Some kids are better at being alone than others, but inevitably, time alone (preferably out in nature) is profoundly healing and balancing for each and every child.  It is also deeply restful and nuturing for parents and caregivers. 

Every now and then, make a point to walk away from life completely.  Teach your kids how to do it to.   Teach your kids also how to enjoy their own company.  This may seem inconsequential, but you have just unwittingly instructed your children on how to manage their own happiness.  This is simple, elegant and empowering.  This will bring peace and balance to your family and your life.  This will teach your children how to care for themselves and their tender inner spirits.   Everyday life is stressful for everyone, but you can always choose to leave it all behind for a few hours at a time.   This is a skill we teach our children by example.

Saying “no” to the constant demands to provide for a child’s happiness and “yes” to a child’s opportunity to fill their own time in a peaceful and nurturing setting is a great way to empower your child.   Give your children the gift of themselves.  Help them to become supremely comfortable in their own energy.  You are supporting the development of their sovereignty in doing so, and this is a most beautiful and blessed unfolding that is a result of liberating the inner spirit.

For more information about empowering kids, teens and families, or for more information about Susan A. Haid and Lily’s Truth, visit www.lilystruth.com for more exciting details.

Words Are Magic! by Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast!

by Amanda van der Gulick

Juliet:

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2) 

A familiar quote by Shakespear.

If we had never known what a rose was but saw it for the very first time and were told that it was called a ‘skunk cabage’ (and had no idea what a ‘skunk’ was) then we would think the name ‘skunk cabage’ was a beautiful, romantic name simply because the flower itself was so sweet and pure.

But if we knew what a ‘skunk’ was then our beautiful rose would suddenly seem much less sweet!

Words are magic!

We must be very careful which words we choose to use in our daily lives.

Words can inspire and lift us to great heights, but they can also be our downfall, they can crumble us, make us cringe and hide in a corner full of cobwebs and broken dreams.

Which words do you choose to use?

“I can’t afford that.”

or

“How can I afford that?”

It seems of little importance how we speak about a subject, but therein lies the beast!

We don’t even realise we are doing it. We put ourselves down daily, we put our hopes and aspiritions down without a second thought.

Why?

We were taught to do it!

Our parents told us, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

They were wrong! MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES!

It’s all about perception. Is your glass half full or half empty? It makes a difference.

Yes no matter how you say it that glass will still have one half with liquid and one with air, but how you see it will affect not the glass or the liquid within it but YOUR LIFE!

If you see it as half empty then you are missing so much!
You are closing yourself to life’s wonders and joys.

If you see it as half full then you are blessed. You will enjoy life.

But beware…

Negativity is so easy to enter your mind unexpectedly.

Make sure you see your own thoughts for what they are and make a point to correct yourself whenever you find yourself allowing a negative thought.

Never reprimand yourself for your negative thoughts, as that will only increase your negativity, instead, laught, giggle, and then kindly remind yourself of the possitive alternative.

Example:

“It’s raining outside, now my suit is going to get all wet and my day will be ruined!”

or

“Oh, silly me, who cares if my suit gets wet, it’ll dry and besides the rain really brings out my natural curls like no shampoo or conditioner ever could. This rain means, fresh grass and new flowers will be blooming. I’m going to have a fantastic day!!!”

It’s up to you.

Here’s to your success,

Cheers….Amanda van der Gulik…Excited Life Enthusiast!
http://www.TeachingChildrenAboutMoney.com/

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Now that your own mind has been OPTIMISTICALLY revamped, it’s time to get your kids thinking POSITIVELY, click below:
http://www.cleverdoughkids.com/mindmoviefreebie.html
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For more information helpful information, books & DVD’s designed to empower adults, kids and teens, also visit www.lilystruth.com.

Teaching Children About Money by Susan A. Haid, Author/Producer, Lily’s Truth

by Susan A. Haid

Parents often wonder if and when their children should learn the value of money whether it is through an allowance or otherwise. My children, like many children in today’s material society, started asking for every toy under the sun as soon as they could talk. Of course, I admit that initially I enjoyed giving my kids the toys they asked for, but I soon learned that this is a bottomless money pit with no easy way out.
So as soon as my kids were able to count, I started teaching them how to count pennies, nickels and dimes. When they had earned several coins that they could put in their own wallets, I allowed them to spend it as they wished, helping them to understand what they were able to buy with the very small amount of money they had in their possession. What was interesting to observe is that they started to develop discernment about what they would choose to purchase rather than simply wanting everything and expecting to get every toy on the market.
Another beautiful evolution that occurred, although this required some work on my part as well as theirs, is that they began to understand the value of saving their money so that they could have greater purchasing power. As my children got a little bit older (5-6 years old), they began to cultivate the patience needed to wait for a something they wanted while they slowly saved up for it. Immediate gratification was no longer part of their world. They needed to have the discipline and responsibility to earn money for the items they wanted to buy with the exception of the gifts they received on birthdays and holidays for the most part.
Money has been a tool of empowerment in our house. Money must be earned by the performance of chores and duties outside of the normal expected duties. Money must be saved by each one of us including the parents. After all, parents represent the standard for the children. My kids now understand why Mommy doesn’t drive a brand new car or why we can’t go out to dinner whenever we feel like it. My kids also don’t argue when I tell them they can’t have this or that when we are in a store buying necessities.
I want to instill in my children that they have the power to make money and buy the things they wish to have. I do not want to impose fear-based thinking or poverty consciousness. I simply want to teach my kids how to make money and how to use it wisely. My kids have learned discernment, patience and responsibility in the process. These tools, and that is all they are, will serve them well as they get older.
The next step in my children’s education about money has been about how to make money creatively and joyfully without necessarily having to toil away for it. But that discussion is for another time. Meanwhile, for more exciting books and DVD’s that empower parents and children, learn about Lily’s Truth by Susan A. Haid at http://www.lilystruth.com.

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